over50feeling40: It's MY Decision Because I Matter....and The Thursday Blog Hop and a Winner!!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Mar 4, 2015

It's MY Decision Because I Matter....and The Thursday Blog Hop and a Winner!!

I understand by writing this type of blog, I am agreeing to hear all of your thoughts.  I try to look at criticism as constructive, so when a reader has persisted with constant comments (10 to date) that my hair is aging me (says it is the equivalent of a dark overcoat worn all of the time), I went straight to my girlfriends...the ones who will tell me what they really think. 

They confirmed they liked it longer and darker...but as I left, I was struck with the thought... I really do not need their confirmation, because I LIKE IT!

Most of my life, my hair has been long...in my youth, really long.  After my makeover at age 50, I decided to try some shorter cuts.  However, I have never really felt comfortable with them.  So, this past year, I began to grow it out...to at least shoulder length.  It makes me smile...I feel more like me with longer hair, my bangs, and my color.  For now...this is the me I want to see in my mirror. 

My journey has been about getting my style to where I look the way I want and with what makes me feel confident and joyful. 

My heart goes out to FAITH HILL who was creamed by many after the Oscars for her new short-do...she looks fabulous no matter what she does...and if you like it Faith...keep wearing it!
I do not know why we feel the need to comment on other women's hair.  There are amazing women past 50 who look good with short or really long hair (Such as YASMINA ROSSI, model and Photographer)
But, please notice...Faith, Yasmina, and I are all smiling....and I represent the every day woman here.  Smiling is the way I say I MATTER.  It is the best accessory we wear and why I have done a Pinterest Board called NEVER FULLY DRESSED WITHOUT A SMILE.
So many fashion shows and shoots depict somber, serious, depressing expressions...but our best looks are with a big, bold, beautiful smile.  That is the way to look youthful and in style.
Wear it everyday...and wear your hair the way YOU like! And, I am so sorry to inform the one making constant comments...for now, it is not going to change.  But, I reserve the right to change MY mind at any time...I am a woman after all.
Tomorrow I am off to Nashville, TN to join other midlife bloggers at BAM, the first national blogging conference just for us!  I cannot wait to meet inspiring women, learn, and join others as speakers for this flagship event.  Of course, I will share all of it with you!

Now, please go read or hop on with the hundreds of bloggers in our Thursday Blog Hop...it is so much fun!

Congratulations to Becky Davis, winner of the beautiful Crown Yourself bracelets from Tamera Beardsley Designs!

Have a HAPPY Thursday!

 Favorite Things Blog Hop

 Welcome to the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop! The Thursday Favorite Things Blog hop is where you can link your favorite post of the week, or write a post about your favorite things and share it with old and new followers. This hop is hosted and posted on 5 different blogs! Please follow all of your hostesses ♥

♥ Please  Follow Your hostesses-
• PLEASE DO NOT link and run, please visit and comment on at least two of the links ahead of you. This simple act of kindness will result in a much more satisfying blog hop experience ♥ • Please link to your post and not to your blog home page • Please remember to post no more than 3 links • No adult content blogs • No links directly to your shops or websites selling things/services please! (sorry they will be removed) ♥ Optional- Link back on your post and/or Grab the hop button code from the button page at Katherines Corner. Yes you can link giveaways (they are everyone’s favorite thing). • Please leave comments when you visit, let them know you are visiting from the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop . I invite you to add your giveaways to Katherines Giveaways Page too! 
Adding your link to this blog hop gives Katherines Corner permission to share your posts and pictures via social media, pinterest and as Make It Monday feature on Katherines Corner.♥

Lets HOP ♥


  1. Another wonderful post my sweet friend. You look gorgeous as always.I read some of the rotten things some were saying about Faith's hair. So ridiculous. I actually have a photo of Yasmina Rossi on my vision board. I am growing my hair out and since I am 50 something ( wink) . I am trying not to subscribe to the notion that women of a certain age should not have long hair. xo

  2. Pam, I agree...hair is such a personal thing, and we each have to do what feels best for us. Have a wonderful time at the conference!!

  3. I think you look lovely! I have a whole pin board on Pinterest with gorgeous ladies with long hair (including the same one of Yasmna I think!), and I think it's fabulous!

  4. Stopping by from the Katherine's Corner blog hop to say "hi." By the way, I love your new "do." Have a great rest of your week!

  5. I agree, we shouldn't need the confirmation and approval of anyone in these matters. Yet, we tend to do it. Habit? The not smiling thing is really bad with the fashion models sometimes hahaha, some look outright like they are pissed off being there. And whilst that may fit some type of clothes, it doesn't work for all.

    Thanks for co-hosting the link up and have fun in Nashville.

    Alex - Funky Jungle

  6. I agree I think a smile is the most important factor unless you have perfect features and can do that sultry thing. Hair is very important to the way you feel and very personal. Yours always looks shiny and well cared for. If you fancied a change you could always try it up or back. Long hair is very versatile.

  7. I happen to think your hair is just fine (the length, color, bangs, etc.) and flatters your face very well! Wish I could wear my hair in this style. I know it may irk you, but try to ignore that commenter. It's a shame that in our youth-obsessed culture that females' appearances are judged more harshly than males'. And, most often the harsh criticisms come from other females. While we should always put forth the effort where our appearance is concerned, we are so much more than just our looks!

  8. I could have written this (I think I say this often!). First of all, as you can see, most of us don't agree with the person who wrote your hair is aging you. It is not. I have always had long dark hair. Like you, really long as a teenager (I loved it!!), and like you, I tried shorter styles as an adult and for me, I always felt like a boy. Once, I got it cut really short (like Faith Hill did) and my youngest son who was 9 at the time ran to his room and didn't speak to me for two days. He was that upset! That was the last time I had short hair, and I even had dreams about it being longer and endured a very long grow-out period. (I felt like my son did, hated it on me!) Right now my hair is the same length and basic color as yours is, a deeper shade of brown that is what I think would be my natural color if it didn't have gray in it!! My sister persists in telling me that women "my age" should have shorter hair and I keep ignoring her becuase I LIKE IT!!!! And there are more styling options with longer hair. I have also been told I shouldn't color it. Again, leave me alone, I LIKE IT this way!! We should never bend to someone else's rules when we feel happy and GOOD about how we look. You look great, very youthful and continue to inspire! Karen

  9. Just an additional thought....could it be that the person who wrote the nasty comments is envious of how you look? I always wonder that when someone persists in being mean-spirited. How can anyone think that they are so "all that" that they would dare to judge or criticize? Maybe once could be considered "constructive criticism" (maybe), but six times?? Sounds like she needs something else to focus on! Karen

  10. Hi, Pam. I really, really like your look, including your long hair with bangs. I haven't been following these blogs for that long so I don't know what you looked like before, but who cares? You look great! That commenter is ridiculous. I agree with Karen above who suggests that the commenter may need something else to focus on! Personally, I wear my hair short because that's what looks good on me. My hairstyle is kind of like Faith Hill's except not as sleek. I think she looks absolutely beautiful (slightly prettier than I, LOL!)! I often wish I could wear long hair, but I have a long narrow face, so long hair doesn't work for me. Pity, I would have loved to have an "up-do" for some occasions. You can, though!

    I think it's awfully hard for some of us to realize how good-looking we are. Take it from me, you are very good-looking with wonderful, distinctive style.

    BTW, yesterday the song "You Make Me Feel So Young" (Frank Sinatra version) was running through my head because for some reason I thought of your reference to it in your recent column with that charming sketch of you. And how I love the jacket that you're wearing in that sketch!

    Have a great time at the conference! And one more thing -- I found one or two of your recent blogs so inspirational that I have saved them in my "Blog" folder, with just a few other special blogs from others. Just a few, so that should tell you something!

    Susan S.

  11. You are just beautiful and your blog is so charming. I just met Katherine and I am checking out your Blog Hop~ how fun.
    Yes~ you matter. I just cut my hair for the same reasons. It has been fun but I am growing it back out. :)

  12. Hello Cute Lady! It is always a pleasure to be a part of your party. Thank you. I would love it if you would stop by our party. We pin and tweet everything.
    Happy Thursday! Lou Lou Girls

  13. I think you look fantabulous!! You have so inspired me - I recently cut hair short giving into the notion of "being over 50". Well - I may or may not keep it short now. You have empowered me to let it grow out again - if I choose!

    Thanks gal!

  14. Awful weather(ice and snow) in Nashville today. Hope you are able to make it. My son works banquets at Opryland Hotel so maybe he'll be you server!!

  15. Pam I love your look and it IS you that should be comfortable and confident with your own style!!
    Brava I say!
    The Arts by Karena

  16. Maybe it's envy that's behind the negative comments of others. Personally, I wish I could wear my hair long--I can't. Not now [50+] or ever. What we choose to do with our tresses--how nature may limit our choices--is our own business. It's the smile that matters.

  17. You do matter! And your hair looks great. I think we should all feel good about our hair regardless of how we choose to wear it and be happy. What others think of us is none of our business!

  18. I think your hair is lovely, but it doesn't really matter what I think! Your happiness radiates out in all of your pictures - and that's what's important.

  19. Hi from Toronto......Love your Blog and love your hair. Have a wonderful trip to Nashville

  20. I think it is pure jealousy on the part of the commenter to write you so excessively about your hair. Plus, it's just weird. My first thought about this person is, Okaaaaayyyyy, ya creepy stalker! You really have time to keep writing someone ABOUT THEIR HAIR?!? What? Go help out at a soup kitchen, go volunteer at a homeless shelter, maybe it will help you stop being so idiotic, petty and mean! I think you look great, that picture of you with the long hair is my new favorite of you. You will do great at the conference and be an inspiration to so many women. Go Pam! Sending you a lot of love and encouragement! XO, Jill

  21. Oh, I wanted to add, I thought Faith Hill looked so sexy and chic with her short hair at the Oscars. She has such a beautiful face she can pull it off no problem. I loved it!

  22. "Confident Women don't Hate" so true!! BTW, I read this on Yolanda Fosters' instagram.

    You look terrific!

    Thank you for writing your blog...I am always inspired!

    Renee in Northern California

  23. You look great with your long hair and bangs. Very flattering.

  24. Oh, dear, it looks as if the "griffes" (claws) were out for you, Pam. Diane Keaton still wears shoulder-length hair and also looks great in her glasses. Besides, it's not about the length of the hair; it's all about the cut. And yours has just enough layering at the bottom to give it shape and movement. As to the color, well, it's just perfect for you.

    No matter how beautiful a woman is, she cannot be at her best if she is not "bien dans sa peau" (comfortable in her own skin). Besides, who wrote the rules on hair? Nobody consulted me..........

    Chees, M-T

  25. Your long hair has been an inspiration to me. I have been growing out my hair since I started following your blog because you showed me that older women can rock long hair. I hope to have pretty hair like yours! Carol B.

  26. Wow. I'm glad you're sticking to your guns...and hair. I think long hair is wonderful (and of course I have long hair!).

    Have a great time at the conference. I hope you will be sharing your experiences with us.


  27. TOTALLY agree, Pam! It is YOUR decision to wear/do whatever you wish. This is a fabulous message you relay. And, I'm truly sorry to hear there are folks out there making these inappropriate comments. Thanks for hosting this link up! T. http://tickledpinkwoman.blogspot.com

  28. Pam, I 100% agree with you. I was interviewed recently for an article on blogging over 40 and I said something similar. We need to stop telling each other what to do and just celebrate ourselves! You look wonderful by the way! Thanks for much for sharing your opinion. People who make negative comments deserve to be deleted and ignored, in my opinion.
    Dawn Lucy

  29. Hi
    I found you when reading comments on A Femme d'Un Certain Age ... I just wanted to say that 1- you remind me of Diane Keaton 2- your hair looks fabulous and I should know lol 3 - my husband told me this once and when I could stand back and look at things without emotion, he was right ... when someone says something that is insulting or hurtful, it is not an accident, they knew exactly what they were doing by saying something mean and they meant to hurt.
    This person could have just as well called you a ..whatever ... it isn't about the color of your hair, it is about that persons need to hurt you.. belittle you... feel better than you.
    And the thing is ... they are still mean little people and you are lovely . C

  30. I nearly missed this post. You are absolutely right. Do what you like. I very much appreciate honest opinions on my blog. Flattery will get me nowhere. But I keep in mind that everybody looks at me with their own perception, with what they like (mostly on theirselves). Ask 20 women and you get 20 different opinions. When I posted several old (er) outfits at Christmas with the question what should stay and what should go, I got honest opinions... One outfizt could be loved and hated. So I made up my own mind. Like you do. And I like your hair very much.

  31. Well not that it matters what I think but I love your hair. It is very flattering, feminine and I think it suits you:) You are a wonderful role model for women (of all ages) and I applaud you. Wear what you like, cut your hair the way you like and simply be who you are. xxx

  32. I have to comment and tell you that really I can't imagine you with short hair. I think you have it right. I recently grew my shoulder length hair longer then realised it was too long, a curtain and didn't suit me. I've had it cut back to shoulder length.
    I have however bought a hair piece in the style of a long bob and the plan is to wear that for variety. I think that's a fair compromise on going shorter.

  33. Your hair looks great as is! I listened to the negative voices about length and regret it. I refuse to listen to those voices about hair color. I am a very happy silver sister (growing her hair). If the teens can die their hair purple, we have earned the right to wear our hair any way we like.

    Stay strong!

    1. I had to smile at this as I have a teen with purple hair:)

  34. This is the first time that I have read your blog and I think you look fabulous! You are right about who cares as long as "I" like it. This is coming from a 49 year old that still wears her old Vans and has purple streaks in her hair. I have been asked point blank why I have so many earrings in my ear (I have had them since I was 17 and each one was used to punish my Mom haha). I say that I never got over the rebellious phase that I went through in my teens lol. Am I supposed to remove them because I got to a certain age? That's just crazy talk! Enjoy the things that make you happy everyone!

  35. I vote LONG! How women wear their hair is so unique to them, your personality, the shape of your face, how you dress, these are all factors that vary from person to person. I hate "rules" that say you need to cut your hair at a certain age or not wear white after Labor Day!!!!!! You go Pam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. I think your hair is your choice.

    I am reminded of a time when I was talking to my husband telling him that I thought I needed some beauty fix, was it hair removal, spider veins, a neck lift, and he said to me, "Don't tell me, if you tell me what's wrong every time I look at you I'll think of that."

    In our quest to matter, to be somebody, to respect ourselves I think that sometimes it's best to just carry on. Just be who you are, wear your clothes right side out, and keep going. Stopping to defend yourself turns it into a bigger deal than it's worth.

  37. good for you, ignore the comments. I have heard it from my mom especially for years about colour and length and finally I had to stand firm and say we all have to wear what makes us feel pretty/good. I am a long hair gal and I always will be

  38. Pam, I received a negative, not contstructive comment a while back, and I ignored it. Somehow it makes that person feel better to belittle. I think it says something about that person. You continue to wear your hair as you like!! I really like it on you and as you said it makes you smile.That is what is important! I remember the criticism with Jennifer Lawrence's short hair. So silly. I am over 40, have long hair and am looking to grow it longer.Because I like it.:-)) You look fabulous by the way in the rust /orangecoat with the lovely scarf.

    xo jess

  39. I have to agree with this. I have tried many short hair styles and have never felt comfortable with any of them. I like my hair long and that is what matters. I MATTER!


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!