over50feeling40: I MATTER...JUST SAY NO! Plus the Thursday Blog Hop!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Aug 27, 2014

I MATTER...JUST SAY NO! Plus the Thursday Blog Hop!

From an interview with Viola Davis in MORE Magazine, September 2014

I am not going to share my friend's picture.  However, she does represent huge numbers of mothers, grandmothers, and career women who are attempting to balance their lives every day.  At 58, she was not ready to simply, yet firmly, say NO!  So, what typically happens is the overloaded, stressed out, hit a wall somewhere along the way.   Often the wake-up-call moment is a health crisis screaming inside our heads, we have neglected ourselves in order to please others.

I have met so many amazing women in the past four years who are refusing to draw boundaries, and struggle with saying NO.  They attempt to be superstars at work…problem solvers at home…burden bearers for extended family…school volunteers…leaders at church…need I go on?  All of this leaves behind a bulging schedule, sleep deprivation, fast food  meals, grooming neglect, and joy zapped. Our present day society almost demands us to…Do More, Do More, and Do More!! 
All of these ladies have learned to say I MATTER!
 Nothing wrong with that… as long as we do more for ourselves as well.

In order to carry the I MATTER sign, we must all learn to say NO.  It often requires a tough skin and courage.   It also requires discernment as to what is truly a priority and what can wait.  I had to learn to understand and respect ME.  In order to serve my family and work with a smile, I needed to allow ME time for good health, exercise, quiet, and fun.  Before my friend above received her wake up call, she worked all day and was nanny to two grandchildren until late at night.  On top of that, there were work travels and family travels.  It just became too much.
Evaluate today:
1.       Are you caring for yourself every day?
2.       Look over your commitments.  Are there one or two areas which need tweaking?
3.       Set your own boundaries, have courage, and make the changes.

I have decided to live life with me on the priority list…life is short…do more for your family by taking care of YOU!

Do you struggle with setting boundaries?  or even with people pleasing?  Let's discuss!

Then enjoy the talented bloggers of Katie's Favorite Things Blog Hop!

And have a wonderful Thursday!

It’s time to hop! Party and link up! The Thursday Favorite Things Blog hop is where you can link your favorite post of the week or write a post about your favorite things and share it with old and new followers. The hop is hosted and posted on 3 different blogs! Your link will appear on the blogs of Katherine's Corner,  Over 50 Feeling 40, and Vintage Mama.  Three times the opportunity to make new bloggy friends and to share your wonderful blog and discover others to


Please DO NOT link and run…….
  • Please visit a few of the wonderful blogs that are sharing here.
  •     Please leave comments when you visit
  •     Please Link to your post and not to your blog home page
  •     Linkback on your post (optional, but always appreciated)
  •     Grab the hop button code from The button page (optional)
  •     No adult content blogs
  • Please no more than 3 links to your blog
  •     No links directly to your shops or websites selling things/services please! (sorry they will be removed)
  •     Yes you can link giveaways (they are everyone’s favorite thing) Add your giveaways to Katherines Giveaways Page too!
Please change it to - Adding your link to this blog hop gives Katherines Corner permission to share your posts and pictures via social media and as Make It Monday features on Katherines Corner 
Hop ON!


  1. Pam, it's so true. "No" is one of the most important words we can learn to use.

  2. My kids have been home for Summer Vacation for what feels like forever now. And I feel as if I'm disappearing... I really need some time just for me...


  3. Oh my yes, I struggle with boundaries. I even read a book on it and know what needs to be done, yet I struggle in this area since I tend to take on too many things like you describe. Saying "no" is very hard for me, but I have been trying more and more. I have a situation that I have to respond to that way right now, and I'm dragging my feet making the phone call because I dread 'being the bad guy' (in my own mind). I generally do take time for myself, but I also manage to cram in doing things (read MANY things) that others should be doing for themselves (but they don't have to because I do it.) Sad. This area needs improvement in my life. Thank you for posting this, because I do need to see this and work harder on it. I know that I matter, but I shove myself aside too much of the time. There are reasons behind this, and I need to work on getting past those things and moving on. Thanks Pam, I REALLY needed to see this.

  4. Glad to be able to join you today, dear Pam

  5. Great post, Pam - I am sending it to some dear friends who struggle with "No." xox

  6. Pam I can so relate to this!! I have a habit of putting myself on the bottom of my list and I really need to learn or just practicing, putting and keeping myself on the top of my list! Thanks for the reminder!

  7. So many women don't know that "No." is a complete sentence.

    1. That is an AMAZING one-liner, Carol!!! Can I borrow it??

  8. Great post. I struggle with guilt after I decline a request for help, but I am trying to learn to remind myself to think of all the things I do help with - instead of the ones I opt not to do.n Thanks for hosting #ThursdayFavoriteThingsBlogHop!

  9. Hi, such a great message. Thanks for sharing and hosting this Thursday's hop. ;)

    Mary-andering Creatively

  10. Hello cute lady! What a fun party. Thank you for hosting. Please come and party with us. We would love to see what you have been working on! http://loulougirls.blogspot.com/
    Happy Thursday! Lou Lou Girls

  11. Saying NO. You. Still struggling with it, like too many of us. Very much the legacy of the 'older' mother, the working mother, the Sandwich Generation. Tougher still to say no in this economy. But important that we find a way.

  12. One of biggest life lessons has been that I must need to take care of me in order to be able to help others. I love this! Beautiful share!

  13. This was a wonderful post and so needed and true. I think when we constantly say yes to everything, we are continuously saying no to ourselves. And yes, its good to do for others, but we can't do that if we ourselves are not in good shape. I feel like I am always doing doing and doing and no one else is helping or doing and when I drop the ball, no one helps, they just wonder why I dropped the ball so to speak. I tend to feel exhausted really. But, I am learning to say no to things more and not feel so bad about it. I tend to feel guilty and then give in. Which has not been good for my health really. This was a great post, thank you for visiting my blog, I appreciate it and i hope you have a great weekend :) xx

  14. Hi Pam!!

    I have gotten much better at this. I've learned to say no but I slack on my exercise and eating. Perhaps after I get Logan settled at college I will have more time to focus on prioritizing my health. Such an important message you are sending out! xoxo


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!