over50feeling40: From Negativity to I MATTER,,,,and the Thursday Blog Hop!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Mar 5, 2014

From Negativity to I MATTER,,,,and the Thursday Blog Hop!

Meet Heather!  She is a vivacious young woman who loves life, her job, and looking her stylish best every day.  Heather has placed herself at the top of her priority list and plans to keep it that way.  Hopefully, she will... even if she marries one day and has children of her own.
My thirties was the time when I lost myself. Now, one of my goals is to inspire young women not to place themselves at the bottom.  But, wear smiles like Heather’s through every stage of life.

I stopped to believe I mattered early in life after negative messages were sent my way on a regular basis from family members and later co-workers. 
Disrespect for women runs deep in our country.  It begins at very young ages.  Behaviors handed down by family members and society.  For years, I have watched teen boys belittle teen girls with the phrase “sandwich makers,” and whenever the young ladies display emotions, young boys sometimes sarcastically retort, "she must be on her period?'
It starts here.  But, it is anything but funny…many of those young men will grow to look at their wives and girlfriends as sandwich makers…judging them on appearance and work output.  Social media and accessibility to other females has only worsened the problems.
But, I am not here today to discuss why emotional abuse is wrong or why it happens. In fact, this abuse can just as easily be delivered by females in our lives as the males.   It is wrong and it does happen.  I am here to tell you that YOU MATTER…despite what anyone else says.  I had to reach a point where I looked in the mirror and understood:
     Life is short
     Time goes fast
    It isn't important what anyone else thinks…only me.
     I need to take this gift of life and do something with it and not allow others to shut me down.
     I must stop giving other people permission to steal my joy.

Believe me, I know this is not easy. But, I also know it can be done.  That is why I finally took the reins and began to turn my life around for me…no one else…for me.  Through the changes I am writing about on Thursdays, I discovered confidence, joy, and strength.  It hasn’t been easy…but worth it!  If the level of abuse is so intense you cannot turn your thought life around on your own, then please get help today and do not wait longer.  You can do this.

If others in your life are attempting to destroy you with unkind words or judgments, then do something for you NOW…you matter.  You are not a mistake.  Stop listening…take your life back.  Set boundaries and do not allow them to cross without standing up.  If you would like to talk or hear more specifics, please email me.  I MATTER…So, do you.

If you would like to catch up on #I MATTER Posts...then just CLICK here and you will find them on my page about personal style!

Now, go enjoy the Thursday Blog Hop and this fabulous day!


It’s time to hop! Party and link up! The Thursday Favorite Things Blog hop is where you can link your favorite post of the week or write a post about your favorite things and share it with old and new followers. The hop is hosted and posted on 3 different blogs! Your link will appear on the blogs of Katherine's Corner,  Over 50 Feeling 40, and Vintage Mama.  Three times the opportunity to make new bloggy friends and to share your wonderful blog and discover others to


Please DO NOT link and run…….
  • Please visit a few of the wonderful blogs that are sharing here.
  •     Please leave comments when you visit
  •     Please Link to your post and not to your blog home page
  •     Linkback on your post (optional, but always appreciated)
  •     Grab the hop button code from The button page (optional)
  •     No adult content blogs
  • Please no more than 3 links to your blog
  •     No links directly to your shops or websites selling things/services please! (sorry they will be removed)
  •     Yes you can link giveaways (they are everyone’s favorite thing) Add your giveaways to Katherines Giveaways Page too!
Adding your link to this blog hop gives Katherines Corner permission to share your posts and pictures via social media and as features on Katherines Corner. Note- All features on Katherines Corner will be linked back to the original source .Social media features are linked back to the hop 


  1. I can't tell you how much I love these posts. They empower me and lift me up by reading your story, and others, about why "I Matter." This is a very special series to me, for many - many - reasons.

    Thank you, Pamela.

  2. I have only recently discovered your blog and I am so glad I have. Your post really struck a chord with me. Once I became a SAHM people seems to think they could say what they liked about me, pretty much negative. I'm now trying hard to get back on track, not always easy when you've spent years putting others first. One of my main priorties is to ensure my daughter doesn't experience the negativity I did by ensuring she goes out into the world a confident person. Sadly my Mother brought me up to put others first always. I am thrilled you are here to encourage women towards a better life and I will be stopping by often.
    Ali xx

  3. Brava, Pam, for supporting women of all ages. You're a treasure!

  4. "I must stop giving other people permission to steal my joy." Amen.
    Thanks for the reminder that in spite of what we may have heard over the course of a lifetime, or even more recently, we need to step back and convince ourselves that we do indeed matter very much. We have great gifts and many blessings. We need to all make ourselves a priority! Karen

  5. Joy stealers, they are on every corner and often lurk in plain sight. I love this post and her empowerment. This is such a great series my friend. Thank you for being my sweet co hostess xo

  6. What a wonderful post! Coming over from the Women of Midlife FB page and am loving reading all the great posts everyone is sharing today. Thanks for the positive message that needs to be heard/read all over . Will definitely share and pass it on.

  7. What a great and positive post today!!! Thank you for sharing such an uplifting and motivating post. I came over from the Women of Midlife Facebook page today and am loving all the great posts I am finding!!! Embrace the joy!

  8. Yes, too often women are socialized to "be nice" and to "not make waves," which ends up meaning "don't assert your boundaries." Hooray for women who take control of how they allow others to treat them.

  9. What a lovely woman. I'm so glad she reconnected with her power and her strength. Blessings to her and to all who have faced abuse and negativity.

  10. I think most of us with children did lose ourselves in our 30's....but I sure would love for my kids to be little again, me in my 30's and loving every minute of them being right under me. :))
    This was a great post...and she is lovely.

  11. A beautiful story of strength and courage. Inspirational!

  12. You hit the nail on the head1 Stop letting them steal your joy -- I decision I recently made. Thank you

  13. I loved this and took a look at the other blogs and want to be part of this blog hop. I have not been able to find the button code. Can you direct me? Thank you and look forward to all of your posts.

    1. Hi Carol and everyone, if you go to the bottom of all of the blogs on the hop...you will see a box that says PLACE YOUR LINK HERE on the left....that is where you can join in the fun! Thanks for asking, Carol!!

  14. Bravo, so inspirational! I love life accounts like this, it makes me appreciate all I have and am so thankful for the friends who are always by my side!

    2014 Artists Series

  15. Good for her! I love to see women find their own voices and inner strength.

  16. Bravo--don't let anyone steal your joy! Thanks for stopping by my blog Pam, so nice to *meet* you.

  17. Great post. I always look forward to the I Matter posts-they empower me. I am still working on not letting others steal my joy. I am getting better at it so that quote hit home for me.

  18. needing and liking this weekly message !
    thx Pam (=


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!