over50feeling40: How Do Women Stop Caring....Plus Favorite Things Blog Hop!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Jan 8, 2014

How Do Women Stop Caring....Plus Favorite Things Blog Hop!

Meet Amy! – Amy is a working mom who has decided to declare I MATTER!  With two active young children and a full time job, Amy admits she has not taken care of herself…but those days are over. She has decided to make a purposeful effort to dress nice before leaving the house, eat right, and take better care of her health.  She even plans to make sure a regular hair appointment is in the budget for mom!
There are many reasons why women slip into an abyss of low self-esteem.  It would take volumes to analyze here. In our "we-can-do-it-all" society, sometimes we crash head on into unhealthy thinking.   All I can do it share with you my story and the stories of others in hopes there will be a connection and eventually inspiration to help many of you turn things around.
By nature, we are nurturers and gifted with the innate ability to multi-task…for many running a home, a business, a family, and even hobbies is second nature.  However, often in the midst of “doing it all” we let go of ourselves, simply because caring for others are more important.  I know so many in my age group who are business professionals, mothers, wives, and caring for elderly parents all at the same time…it can be exhausting and daunting.  In order to turn things around, you must confront why you let yourself go to begin with.
Mine began with fatigue as I cared for babies.  I did not deal with my health issues in the beginning and allowed extra weight to make a home on my body.  When babies slept, I chose cooking and household chores over showers and exercise time.  The more I let Pam go, the more vocal family members became about how bad I looked…no words were spared or delivered gently.  The message was clear…YOU LOOK AWFUL and YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT. I allowed those messages to sink deep inside and take control.  As we entered the world of private school, I compared myself to the wealthier, trendy moms and attempted to look better, however, we had no money!  I eventually worked for the school to provide the education I wanted for my children.  Since, I did not know how to shop on a budget and did not feel confident, I slipped completely to the bottom, where I did not care at all.

What is so important is that at 50 when I finally looked into my own face and saw where I was, I made the changes for ME….no one else. It was time to get me back …my health and my confidence.  I do not think it is possible to make a complete turn-around until you are willing to do it for YOU and not because you are seeking approval of family or peers.

For today, ask yourself…do you believe YOU MATTER?  Are you even on the priority list?  How do you feel about that? What is holding you back? Do you feel confident when you leave the house every day?  If you can decide this week, you really want to communicate to others that your care about yourself, then we can begin next week to discuss the specifics!  Life is short...stop the doldrums and decide today you would like to enjoy every minute of it!  

I hope you join the rest of us willing to say I MATTER!

I also hope you will hop into Katie's Favorite Things Blog Hop!  Time for some fun.....
Have a fabulous Thursday and make sure you join us and visit the amazing bloggers of Katie's Favorite Things Blog Hop!

Its time for the Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop!

It’s time to hop! Party and link up! The Thursday Favorite Things Blog hop is where you can link your favorite post of the week or write a post about your favorite things and share it with old and new followers. The hop is hosted and posted on 4 different blogs! Your link will appear on the blogs of Katherines Corner,  Over 50 Feeling 40Vintage Mama and The Tablescaper.  Four times the opportunity to make new bloggy friends and to share your wonderful blog and discover others too.    
  • Please DO NOT link and run…….
  • Please visit a few of the wonderful blogs that are sharing here.
  •     Please leave comments when you visit
  •     Please Link to your post and not to your blog home page
  •     Linkback on your post (optional, but always appreciated)
  •     Grab the hop button code from The button page (optional)
  •     No adult content blogs
  •     No links directly to your shops or websites selling things/services please! (sorry they will be removed)
  •     Yes you can link giveaways (they are everyone’s favorite thing) Add your giveaways to Katherines Giveaways Page too!
Adding your link to this blog hop gives Katherines Corner permission to share your posts and pictures via social media and as features on Katherines Corner. Note- All features on Katherines Corner will be linked back to the original source .Social media features are linked back to the hop.

Hop on and link up to share your favorites. If you’d like to post this blog hop on your page too, please copy the linky code. If you would like to receive reminders for the hop please add your email address to the reminder area on Katherines Hop post.


  1. Hi Pam! Thanks so much for co-hosting the blog hop! You look fabulous, btw! Kudos to you! :-)

    Michell @Prowess and Pearls

  2. Funny! I began thinking the same thing last year. I let myself go and became proud to look nice when I go out an make myself regular hair appointments. Gotta take care of ourselves!

  3. Love this post. We all need a reminder that we matter.

    - Alma, The Tablescaper

  4. This is such an inspirational post. I like this series very much. I am so guilty of falling into the last on the list category. My clothing is so blaa... Thank you for being my co hostess xo

  5. I agree, it's a great post to remind us how important we are which I often find hard to swallow. Thanks for the inspiration.

  6. so many women need to hear this. I'm glad I figured it out when my girls where in grade school.

  7. Dang straight, we matter! :O) New follower from Thursday Favorite Things blog hop.

  8. Thanks for this, Pam. We all matter, and we sometimes forget. I love your story!

  9. I love this and have to tell you that this really is a greta inspiration for myself and so many. Thanks so much and also for the co-hosting the hop this week, too!! :)

  10. I turned 50 in the Fall of 2013.
    I need to get back to myself.
    I still am a "caretaker" of my parents though both with serious health concerns (father stroke and mother aortic aneurysms).
    I do not have children due to a health issue of my own.
    Really what I would like to to not worry so much. I am the oldest of 7 and it bothers me to no end that I worry as much as I do.

  11. When I was diagnosed with cancer in August, I adopted a "why bother" attitude. After all, I'd done all the right things... I exercised, I ate a healthy diet, I didn't smoke and I only drank an occasional glass of wine but I had cancer anyway. What was the point in all of that? I gained seven pounds in three months and I began to feel terrible; not sick because of the cancer, simply run down because I no longer cared. Fortunately, I've had enough of living like that and I'm getting back on track! I matter! Thank you, Pam, for continuing to encourage all of us that even when we can't control all of our circumstances, we matter enough to take charge of the things we can.

  12. Yes, we do matter and thanks for showcasing the women - hopped over from Katherine's, and thank you for co-hosting each week. Have a wonderful weekend.

  13. What a beautiful and inspiring post!

  14. Love this post! Yes, we matter and we have to keep that thought at the top of our list of "to do's." When we don't take care of ourselves, we lack in taking care of others. We can give so much more, when we take the time to take care of ourselves. I am a living testimony of this. And, I have to continuously adjust my schedule to include some "me" time. Thank you, for this post!

  15. Thanks for hosting!

  16. Great post :) thanks so much for hosting this great fun blog hop ...

  17. Yup. Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue and kids' needs, spouse (if you have one), job or jobs... We wind up last on our own list! This a great reminder to work at not doing so, and when money is an issue, teaming up with other women/moms can help.

  18. We all need to be reminded that we matter :) I fall guilty of leaving the house in my yoga pants with no makeup way too often. But I need to whoop it up more and spend a little extra time on me! Thx for the reminder.

  19. Pam, this article brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for being so transparent. Wow, just wow as you put into words a few of my thoughts from this past year. I find it so easy to wear work-out clothes most days but I always feel so much better when I make an effort to dress up. Also, this is definitely a reason to share that people can thrift and still look like a million bucks! pippa

  20. I have made 2014 the year of me. I do matter. Thank you for this inspirational post.


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!