over50feeling40: Scarves and Strength, Modeling Both!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

May 9, 2013

Scarves and Strength, Modeling Both!

Camilla Olson’s story from yesterday is so inspiring to me!  Once I saw this gorgeous SILK SCARF with her textile design, I was even more impressed.   With strength and confidence, there are no limitations to what Baby Boomer women can accomplish.

I have been pondering my past a lot this week…the week before Mother’s Day!  The majority of the women from Generation Fabulous participated in a  blogger collaboration about their mothers, HERE.  I did not participate, because it is hard to write about a relationship which has been predominately negative.  Then, Famous Footwear emailed.  They wanted to feature me on their WEBSITE BLOG talking about my mother…an amazing opportunity. So, I was forced to think a little deeper about a relationship which most of my life has generated pain.

I believe all the clichés…there is a silver lining in all situations…if given lemons make lemonade. And on and on.  In fact, Dolly Parton was just interviewed on a morning show and said, “If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain!”  The truth is that inside of my difficult home life and the difficult home life of my mother there is actually a shimmering rainbow and and delicious cold glass of lemonade.  The difficulties birthed the strength I have inside today. She provided the foundation and it was my faith which made it concrete.
From her upbringing, mother learned perseverance and determination.  From my past with her, I have learned the same. As a child of an alcoholic, abusive father, she learned to overcome and rise above difficult circumstances.  With no college degree, she left home in her teens and eventually became an accomplished executive secretary for a top oil company. After my past with her, I left home during college and was determined to never look back.  True, she also brought the worst of her upbringing to our home….mostly anger, but despite all of it, I now choose this day, this weekend, to only focus on the legacy of a strong, solid, confident constitution.

For those of you facing Mother’s Day with hurtful memories, find at least one silver lining.  Those difficulties mold us for the good if we just peer deep inside and search for lessons learned.   I believe they are there for all of us to discover...hidden underneath a painful past.

Today, I model Camilla Olson’s scarf to celebrate the strength, creativity, and resilience of women over 50…and, also, I model the strength of my 87 year old mother.  I truly hope she will experience some joy and peace before she leaves this earth!

Have a fabulous Friday all!!


  1. Nice post Pam!
    I just read in my devotional this morning...
    We can see negative circumstances as random and pointless. We do not see that God has and will accomplish good purposes through them.
    Have a great weekend!

  2. A lovely post about something deeply personal.

  3. Beautiful scarf and beautiful post! :) Happy Mother's Day! :)

  4. Pam this post is so meaningful. Forgiveness can be so difficult, and yet it actually sets one free...to move ahead and as you have done, taken the best from your Mother.

    Art by Karena

  5. A very brave and dignified post. Looking for strengths beyond the pain caused is so hard. Well done. X

  6. Thank you for your candor as I try to be a "caregiver" to my mother-in-law who is challenging and very different from my mother who died much too young 33 years ago.

  7. Beautifully synthesized in your mind. and written for us to understand. You look at ARE beautiful, Pam. That resonates with each word you write.

    Happy Mother's Day,

  8. Nice scarf.

    I used to work with a fellow who was obnoxious. He had a bad heart and he'd have these spells at work, once he passed out. He told us not to call 911 because he didn't want to pay for an ER and knew the heart flutter would pass if he took his pills. The worst part was he got really sweaty and smelled awful! Not a co-worker any of us wanted to be around.

    My boss told me not to worry about him dying at work because, "only the good die young." She was right, he made it to retirement and 10 years later is still in bars playing darts.

    You may have mixed feelings about your mother, but she is a survivor.

  9. Way to work through the pain...and sharing it no less. Happy Mother's Day.

  10. Wonderful post, Pam. I can relate to much of what you've written, and it's so moving. I do get pangs when I read about how special someone's mother has been to them. But as you said, it all works together to make us who we are today. Thanks so much for your writing! xoxo

    Beautiful scarf too!

  11. Pam thank you for sharing how you have found the good in bad circumstances.
    We have God's promise that He will always bring good out of bad..if we allow Him. Even when we mess up. It's always in that surrender that we find peace
    and joy.

  12. Lovely and insightful words. As I have discovered, it takes much time, faith and strength to move beyond a painful parenting. At 95 my Mother has mellowed and the scars of her behavior are fading. For the first time this year I chose her Mother's Day card and actually read the verse. I could not before, they were lies to me. I was born on Mothers Day, she reminded me often as if that alone made her a good Mother. I have one living Son, my younger son died a little over a year ago. Mothers Day is difficult, needless to say, but I am determined to be thankful, forgiving and hopeful. I wish this for you as well.

  13. Wonderful post Pam!1 thanks for sharing your heart with us!

  14. This post is so sad (but good)! I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with your family, in particular your darling little grandson! XO, Jill

  15. You have taken the strength and confidence from your mother and tempered it with a beautiful heart and sanctuary for your own family. Your daughter will provide that beautiful place of rest for her family now. You have broken the pattern. Good for you! You had to be strong yourself to be able to do it. Blessings to you this Mother's Day. "Her children will rise up and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31:28. You are blessed indeed! Happy Mother's Day!

  16. A wonderful post. Thank you for sharing honestly. You are an amazing woman and I hope this weekend will be a time of joy for you.

  17. It seems that in every family there is at least one person whose actions cause a great deal of pain. That pain, however, is even greater to bear when we so want that person's love and respect. It is sometimes difficult not to solely focus on the hurts, but thank you for reminding us to look for the silver linings, even if they are only tiny slivers.

  18. That is a challenge. An opportunity to promote your work, but requiring you to find a different perspective on a painful relationship. Kudos to you for doing so, and sharing about it. I've always found Mother's Day challenging, too. All the cards talking about a perfect, sweet mother who oesn't exist for all of us. You've given me something to think about - my favorite kind of post!

  19. What an honest, heartfelt post about the reality of family life. Despite the difficulties you are making the choice to live in the now and create some new memories this weekend.
    I honor you for that. Happy Mother's day lovely Pam.
    xx Heather

  20. Lovely post. I love your "silver lining" advice. And pretty scarf--looks great on you. Have a very happy Mother's Day!


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