I didn’t always believe that…you know, that fabulous women can come in all shapes and sizes. My whole life has been lived as one of those “bigger girls.” I have been on the low and high end of that phrase, but never below it.
It’s okay…you’re big boned.
I remember the day I really looked at the size of my wrist…smaller than most women…and thought, “My Mother has been lying to me!” Uh oh, if I am not big boned, then I must be… (Gasp), fat. I have been on every diet…avoided every exercise…and tried every low-fat dessert. The best thing about stress is that I can reward myself with ice cream….or even better (or worse?) apple pie.
I am being brutally open, because you need to understand that it wasn’t until I accepted my size that I began to desire to do something about it. After my personal makeover nine years ago, I started to learn how to dress my body in flattering ways. There are little fashion tricks which will take off a quick 5-10 pounds…and I know it is an optical illusion, but it does make me feel better about me.
So here is what had to happen first:
*I began to look in the mirror and find the positives. I would mentally say STOP when negatives began. I spent time on my favorite features…eyes, cheeks, hair…
*I started to learn and apply the fashion secrets for a more body flattering look. For example, did you know just getting a proper, up to date, professional bra fitting can do miracles to your figure? I remember thinking, “Ok, I might be a larger girl, but I am going to be one of the best looking larger girls around!”
*I did not leave the house or the dressing room without smiling and saying YES! That meant I spent time on styling an outfit until I could look in the mirror and know I was communicating strength. When I began to do this, then I walked out and entered rooms with confidence.
*After practicing steps 1-3, I started to get compliments and I now thank the compliment-giver and no longer argue with them as I did in the past. By thanking them, I acknowledge and accept the fact that I look good.
*It took a lot of courage, but I remember the first day, I sucked it up and entered Lane Bryant. It was the best decision I ever made. These were stylish, youthful, figure flattering clothes and they made a world of difference because the clothes actually fit! Prior to this, I was seen lurking around the door…sunglasses on ….scoping out the parking lot to see if I knew anyone…and then quickly jumping in the door!! Now I just boldly enter…this place has been my best friend and held my hand through gaining self- acceptance.
These are good steps to practice no matter what body issues you may have. Perhaps you hate being petite or tall…learn how to dress your body and budget in tailoring. It makes a world of difference. Unless you make positive moves to look the way you desire to look, your struggle to accept yourself just the way you are will continue. The goal here is to look and feel our fabulous best self…and we can be any size to do just that!
Once I began to love the way I looked and to be more confident, I was finally motivated to deal with change. I am now 3-4 sizes smaller than when I began my makeover at age 50. A huge motivator was also the desire to be healthy and avoid serious illness, such as heart disease. When I feel good and look good, I smile a lot and confidently reach out to more people.
Many women I know have a bucket list which begins something like this:
I want to go to New York Fashion Week.
I want to bungee jump off of a bridge.
I want to parachute out of a plane.
I want to drink wine in Napa Valley.
All good…especially the first one…but what I want to do is lose 30-40 pounds. Yes, for health reasons. But, more because I really would like to know…just once in my life…what it is like to be on the other side of the phrase BIG GIRL. It is no longer a self-defeating desire. If it doesn’t happen, I will still experience a joyful, fun life.
Until then….I think I look pretty hot…and, of course, fabulous!
This is part of a weekly series I write for GENERATION FABULOUS!
Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties we could not do the link back
this week...but please go over there to read some great articles!
Then have a tremendous Tuesday, everyone!!