over50feeling40: Fabulous Comes in All Shapes and Sizes
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Apr 30, 2013

Fabulous Comes in All Shapes and Sizes

I didn’t always believe that…you know, that fabulous women can come in all shapes and sizes. My whole life has been lived as one of those “bigger girls.”  I have been on the low and high end of that phrase, but never below it.
It’s okay…you’re big boned.
I remember the day I really looked at the size of my wrist…smaller than most women…and thought, “My Mother has been lying to me!”  Uh oh, if I am not big boned, then I must be… (Gasp), fat.  I have been on every diet…avoided every exercise…and tried every low-fat dessert.  The best thing about stress is that I can reward myself with ice cream….or even better (or worse?) apple pie.
I am being brutally open, because you need to understand that it wasn’t until I accepted my size that I began to desire to do something about it.  After my personal makeover nine years ago, I started to learn how to dress my body in flattering ways.  There are little fashion tricks which will take off a quick 5-10 pounds…and I know it is an optical illusion, but it does make me feel better about me.
So here is what had to happen first:

         *I began to look in the mirror and find the positives.  I would mentally say STOP when negatives began.  I spent time on my favorite features…eyes, cheeks, hair…
         *I started to learn and apply the fashion secrets for a more body flattering look.  For example, did you know just getting a proper, up to date, professional bra fitting can do miracles to your figure?  I remember thinking, “Ok, I might be a larger girl, but I am going to be one of the best looking larger girls around!”
        *I did not leave the house or the dressing room without smiling and saying YES! That meant I spent time on styling an outfit until I could look in the mirror and know I was communicating strength.  When I began to do this, then I walked out and entered rooms with confidence. 
        *After practicing steps 1-3, I started to get compliments and I now thank the compliment-giver and no longer argue with them as I did in the past.  By thanking them, I acknowledge and accept the fact that I look good.
        *It took a lot of courage, but I remember the first day, I sucked it up and entered Lane Bryant.  It was the best decision I ever made.  These were stylish, youthful, figure flattering clothes and they made a world of difference because the clothes actually fit!    Prior to this, I was seen lurking around the door…sunglasses on ….scoping out the parking lot to see if I knew anyone…and then quickly jumping in the door!!  Now I just boldly enter…this place has been my best friend and held my hand through gaining self- acceptance.

These are good steps to practice no matter what body issues you may have.  Perhaps you hate being petite or tall…learn how to dress your body and budget in tailoring.  It makes a world of difference.  Unless you make positive moves to look the way you desire to look, your struggle to accept yourself just the way you are will continue.  The goal here is to look and feel our fabulous best self…and we can be any size to do just that! 
Once I began to love the way I looked and to be more confident, I was finally motivated to deal with change.  I am now 3-4 sizes smaller than when I began my makeover at age 50.  A huge motivator was also the desire to be healthy and avoid serious illness, such as heart disease.  When I feel good and look good, I smile a lot and confidently reach out to more people. 
Many women I know have a bucket list which begins something like this:
I want to go to New York Fashion Week.
I want to bungee jump off of a bridge.
I want to parachute out of a plane.
I want to drink wine in Napa Valley.
All good…especially the first one…but what I want to do is lose 30-40 pounds.  Yes, for health reasons.  But, more because I really would like to know…just once in my life…what it is like to be on the other side of the phrase BIG GIRL.  It is no longer a self-defeating desire.  If it doesn’t happen, I will still experience a joyful, fun life.
Until then….I think I look pretty hot…and, of course, fabulous!  

This is part of a weekly series I write for GENERATION FABULOUS!
Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties we could not do the link back
this week...but please go over there to read some great articles!

Then have a tremendous Tuesday, everyone!!


  1. Pam! You DO look incredibly hot and fabulous!! I, too, have spent most of my life dieting....I know it can be frustrating to try to make your body do something it seemingly doesn't want to do. I can't imagine 20-30 pounds off of you...you look so great just as you are! And above all else, you are inspirational!! Living proof that it's never too late to start caring AND the power of what we wear on our psyche! Big love and big hugs to you!! Serene

  2. Last year I lost 120-130 pounds going from a size 5x to a size 14. Because of medication started in January I have gained back 30 lbs raising my size to a 16. I have learned to accept the skin I'm in and that I can be fabulous whatever size I am. I LOVE the fact you promote that philosophy.

  3. You always look fabulous--CONFIDENCE trumps "size" anytime!!

  4. You should flaunt those gorgeous legs of yours, and I love your look, so very much.
    It was a long time I accepted that I wash´t going to be skinny.

  5. Great post and I love you in leopard! I think self-acceptance is very difficult no matter the age or body type. I struggle with it all the time. As for the bucket list, I would love to attend a Valentino or Chanel couture show in Paris! Just once in my life! Can you imagine? XO, Jill

  6. Great post, Pam. And yes, you look every bit fabulous and confident. Keep on keeping on and whether or not you lose that weight, you will still have "Beauty Without Within."

  7. You're FABULOUS Pam...and your blog is just growing and growing in strength...congratulations!
    Catherine xx

  8. I think you look great! And oh, do I love leopard ;-)


  9. Wonderful post, Pam! You make your own journey so transparent and real to us. And we can all relate, whether it be size or age or finances . . . happiness starts with accepting where we are and making the most of it! xoxoxo

  10. I think you look perfect just the way you are!! Love your honesty. xo

  11. I too think you look fab just the way you are, but I'm just the same I'm 5ft in height, so as soon as I gain a pound or two it shows. I look in the mirror and I would like to see Twiggy ( the model from the 60's) but i know it's not possible at my age. So yet again after reading your brilliant post you have made me feel a lot happier with myself. I know I have good legs, even if they are short. so I've just packed my knee length black skirt along with a belt to take away with me on our trip tomorrow. Thanks Pam.

  12. So many of us can relate to this! Too many years spent feeling "not good enough" and telling ourselves "if only" and all those damn diets!

    But I have been at that far tiny end. DO be careful with your diet that you don't do it too quickly, that whatever regimen you follow is a healthy one, and that your frame of mind (and your skin) keep pace with what weight you want to lose.

    And from my own experience, when we're no longer 35, a tiny bit of roundness keeps us from looking haggard. I for one much prefer that to any theoretical size I might want to achieve.

  13. Thank you...thank you for putting into words what I feel, I have always thought just once I would like to know what it feels like to be truly skinny. And I too found when I just started loving myself is when I started worry less about my stomach and more about smiling and enjoying life. Funny I lost a little weight when I forgot about it also.
    You are so beautiful and I love your blog. Thank you.

  14. You look stylish and lovely in every photo. I,too, try to follow your guidelines for being the most confident that I can be. It takes a lot of work or stress to be thin. I went from a size 12 to a size 4 when my first marriage ended. But that was 25 years ago and now it's a lot harder work. Like you, I have small wrists and ankles.There really is a petite woman inside of me. Merci for your upbeat blog.

  15. Look at you Pam. That last image, with the pencil skirt and animal print, says it all. Confident, sexy, chic and powerful-this gorgeous woman is taking life by storm. I appreciate your honesty and candor here. I myself did not have any weight issues until early peri-menopause and a couple of miscarriages in my mid-40's. Since that time I've had a hard time losing the weight. I try to camouflage (love the belts-I miss my waist!) but want to get back down to a better weight myself.
    You are an inspiration Pam!
    xx, Heather


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!