over50feeling40: Not Looking for Clones, Looking to Inspire
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Mar 25, 2013

Not Looking for Clones, Looking to Inspire


Yesterday was a big day!  I had quite a few new readers come check out this blog because I was mentioned in a Chat Room….welcome, to any of you who stopped by and decided to come back!!
With this joy always comes the zingers!  Someone wrote (in the chat room) that my jewelry is too big and chunky….I can live with that; sometimes I think it is too big and chunky!!   That was kind compared to another ANONYMOUS commenter who said:
1.            My look was unflattering
2.            My clothes are wrinkled
3.            My shoes were for younger girls because that pair was styled with some shiny materials
4.            My pants were too short and inappropriate for my age
That about sums it up!! Just between you and me, I think someone was having a bad day.  I did not post the comment because  it read as a personal attack and not constructive criticism...in fact, I think it was meant to discourage.   This all made me want to re-visit something…What this blog is about!
You can go to my pages to read the complete story of how I began, but in one word, this blog is about: INSPIRATION.  I want to inspire Baby Boomers to enjoy life…to look and live with joy, strength, and power.  It is not about hoping all of you will dress just like me…heavens, NO!  It is about inspiring you to get up and get out while looking and feeling your best. 
I developed the Foundational Five to help all of us decide what we each want to communicate with our own fashion choices.  I have followed it…others have followed it…and I believe it works.  What do you want to say with your clothing when you walk out the door each day?
I struggled for a long time with putting my picture on the blog…it was the coaxing and encouragement of others which convinced me that OOTD (Outfit of the Day) was an important component of style blogging.  I hope it is more about the message than the pictures.  In fact, I received a wonderful email yesterday from a woman who wrote this:

Hi Pam, I'm presently spending a semester teaching English in Dalian, China where internet service is poor and many websites are blocked. I've given up reading most of my favourite fashion blogs because I either can't access them at all or I can't see the pictures. Without the photos, most of them don't have much to say but I just had to let you know that, in spite of the fact that I can't usually see the pictures on yours either (sad about that!), I continue to receive it via email and I read every post because even without the pictures, you have something worthwhile to say to women. Keep up the good work!
Thanks so much, Elaine.  After hearing how ugly my shoes are, I needed to hear this. She has the gift of encouragement!  THANK YOU TO ALL WHO READ, COMMENT, AND PASS ALONG THE BLOG…you are truly a blessing to me!!

Tomorrow, I will be joining in with a group of amazing women bloggers of Generation Fabulous.  We will answer the question:  What does Aging Gracefully mean to me?  I hope you will come back.
Make sure you enter to win the Soft Surroundings Topper…just click on the link in the sidebar…then  Have an amazing Tuesday!!

Your “living-like-you-feel-40” tip of the day:  Go Find someone you can encourage….it will bring a smile to your own heart!

38 comments:

  1. I am so sorry that someone probably took out their bad day on you. Don't ever let something like that get you down though. You bring a smile to most folks when they look at you smiling back at them...I have always, always believed that one of the best things someone can do to help another through the day was just smile at them...it makes them feel better, and it makes me feel better too. You are a positive influence in what you are doing....and we just don't get enough positive "news" these days!
    Dianne

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  2. My darling friend, just breathe, your blog is an extension of you. The barbs thrown by others bounce right off. I always think you look lovely. Your smile, your attitude, your grace, your joy in shariong are all beautiful accessories to every outfit you wear xo

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  3. I find your sense of style refreshing for a woman over 50. I'm not as fashion forward as you are. But I find your posts encouraging as well as inspiring for ladies like me who are in a learning mode.

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  4. I read your posts faithfully but rarely comment. Tonight I have to. Shame on that person! And good for you for taking those rude comments lightly. I enjoy seeing your outfits. Keep up the good work.

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  5. Pam, there area always those naysayers out there and look at how they post comments without identifying themselves too!! oh well, as you said, its THEIR bad day, not yours. You always look very professional and hip and colorful. AND you always have the best jewelry and scarves.. like that scarf you have on today-- totally awesome!!

    Keep up the great blogging, its people like you who make the difference in the world!! xo J

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  6. Pam, don't ever forget how you inspire women of all ages. Your genuine caring spirit is contagious!
    Keep on inspiring, Pam!

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  7. I much prefer the encouraging email from Elaine to the anonymous personal attack. I come to your blog because you inspire and support and will continue to do. You look especially fabulous today!

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  8. Don't you always think how lucky some people are that they have nothing else to do but comment negatively. OMG! I admire you so much for being you and putting yourself on line at all. For all its worth I think you look great - a real human being!! Are you not tempted to go to an old clothing bin grab some inappropriate stuff, throw it on and comment how great the outfit makes you look and feel! that would be the time I would show myselF!! Go girl!! Luv ya!

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  9. Aw, sorry to hear that you had those comments, Pam. I like your style, and although I don't comment very often, I do like to check your outfits and see what's going on with you. I like your chunky jewelry! And remember, if we all had the same taste, wouldn't it be boring?

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  10. Bonjour. N’écoutez pas les gens et ne faites pas attention aux critiques.
    VOUS ETES PARFAITE .Très belle et toujours souriante. Et surtout encourageante pour nous toutes.Moi, je viens tous les jours visiter votre blog et je l’adore. Je me retrouve beaucoup en vous. Et vos conseils sont précieux. (Je me sert du traducteur de Google car je ne parle que le français…)
    Je pense qu'il faut toujours avoir a l’esprit de s’habiller plus jeune que son âge et oser beaucoup de couleurs et de fantaisies..Quand à vos bijoux, ils sont très beaux, cela rehausse vos tenues, Ne changer rien.
    Et encore une fois n’écoutez pas les critiques..
    Je vous souhaite une belle journée et vous dit a demain sur votre blog.
    (J’espère que vous arriverez bien à me traduire. Je ne parle que français, merci..) Jacqueline

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  11. Just brush off the unnecessary comments, like you dust your shelves ! it's something that will always be there, but not needed. You inspired me to get away from black, even if it was just by adding a little colour here & there. Your Inspire plaque is so right for you, as that's what you did for me.
    Thank you Pam.

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  12. Good morning. I love the way you dress! And your jewelry and cute shoes. I am 71 years young and wear very much the same type of clothes, etc that you do. We may be older but who says you can not look good at any age? Love the blog and photos, keep up the good work.

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  13. Pam! What a gorgeous thick skin you have! It's wonderful tha you can read those things and not let them tell you who you are OR totally edit or silence them. Too often, I see blogs where are the comments are sychophantic "oh, you're fabulous!" And I so respect you for sticking to your journalism roots. You are an amazing blogger and a force because of it!! And my two cents, I don't think there's eve been a time that I've looked at your pictures and not thought that you look fabulous! Personal style is.......well......PERSONAL! You've never "should" on anyone, but simple inspire your readers to embrace and develop their own personal style. Pam, you're the real deal and I love you for it!!! Hugs to you my sweet friend!! Serene

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  14. Stand up for what you like Pam... good for you... we are all there beside you, enjoying your posts and your wisdom... That's what blogging is all about... sharing and enjoying... never criticism... life is far too short... xv

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  15. I'm 52 and look to your blog to help me figure out how to age gracefully...you inspire me. Don't listen to the haters.

    LisaF

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  16. I have no idea why people are so keen on putting us in little AGE cages where we cannot scape so they can feel safe?, well I have news for all of them, I DON´T CARE.
    You are fabuloussssssssssssssssssssssssss
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  17. Oh Pam, dontcha just love it when somebody anonymously tears you apart? Mmmm, good times. Good for you for calling Anon out on it, and even better to focus on the great comments and emails people send you! Stay true to yourself! XO, Jill

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  18. LOL ... I had to go and check the other post. We're talking about the March 24 post, right?? Love the look, it's very flattering to you. And you can pull off chunky so go for it. Pants are too short? o_O Or am I looking at the wrong post??? As for the so-called "wrinkled" clothes, I assume that's the batik jacket? Batik which often appears wrinkled because of the mottling effect of the dying process?? I'm seriously confused here. But then, I'm at that age too!

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    Replies
    1. Actually, Hillary...the post was March 22!! I am not sure why I did not specify that...it was the post that was important to me...I do love, love, love that outfit no matter what Anonymous thinks!!

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  19. Good response. I was once taught that what other people said was all about them and not about me. It definitely helps to stay true to oneself.

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  20. You haven't really made it yet as a fashion blogger until someone talks shit about you, lol! I am glad you took the criticism with a grain of salt, and so typical of you a big dose of class. It's funny how much time people spend on tearing down when it is a better use of time and resources to build people up! We don't have to like everything either- but I guess that's part and parcel of putting yourself out there on the blogging limb. I am glad someone took time out of their day to encourage, because that's what I feel you do, Pam- encourage and inspire.

    For the record I love chunky jewelry, so am so glad you wear it!

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  21. Great response Pam. You have courage, grace, and yes, wonderful style. Brush off the anonymous, non-constructive snipes and focus on all the good. You inspire me daily. xoxoxoxoxo

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  22. Most of my anonymous comments try to get me to visit their dubious websites. Everyone's taste is different. I love looking at different blogs and pick up what I find inspiring and do not focus on the rest.

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  23. Thank you Pam for giving us "seasoned" ladies a voice!!
    I guess anonymous wants us all back in our polyester moo-moos!!

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  24. I'll never understand the nastiness that can come with the internet. You look great!

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  25. Ah, the "haters"! Who among us has not had a hit-comment? I've gotten some really cruel emails and comments. I publicly responded to one of them but I simply delete them at this point. I'm with you; I want to motivate all women to look their best. To some your age and my handicap are targets for ridicule. Screw 'em, Pam. I think your style suits you to a T. Don't change anything you're doing because of a snarky idiot.

    Spashionista (Alicia)

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  26. I am sorry to hear about that disgusting comment and I am glad you got away with it.
    The support amongst more mature bloggers seems to be very strong (my blog is very new but that is the experience I have made so far) and the very positive and encouraging comments from all your readers prove that.

    BTW, I love your chunky necklaces :-)

    Annette
    Lady of Style

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  27. You looked lovely!! and always do. I love your blog and appreciate all the work you put into it. Don't listen to negativity - just keep being who you are.

    Helen in Malden, MA

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  28. You are an inspiration to all! I'm so glad I found your blog! I didn't read the nasty comment and I won't give them the satisfaction of doing so!!

    So glad I found you! :)

    Nancy from Style, Decor

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  29. You're simply perfect Pam...and your blog too...very sad anonymous commenter don't give them another thought.
    Happy Easter Weekend.
    xx

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  30. Hi Pam, It's my first time here at your blog and I love your message! It's sad that people are so critical over the internet. I got attacked on my blog for posting about lawyers 'dirty secrets'. I did post her comment but edited it somewhat to tame it down. I thought it was important to show the negative aspect of blogging to readers and for me to respond to her. But this is a fashion and lifestyle blog so you wouldn't expect such negativity. Just thought I would share that with you. I love your style and I'll be back for more. I found you via Vicki's lovely blog, French Essence. Cheers

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  31. Pah-leeze - you look fantastic and are truly an inspiration...I love your OOTD and "us ladies of a particular age" need to stick together so sign me up with the fabulous generational ladies - lol

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  32. How sad someone should do that. Another first timer here. Take no notice and carry on. I think you look fab.

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  33. so sorry you had to endure that
    you really can't take it to heart though
    i have learned that those who criticize the most are the most insecure, jealous and lost of them all
    do we always get it right? no, do the pros always get it right, hell no
    that's the joy of fashion, to experiment and play
    keep on girlfriend, you are doing great
    brett

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  34. Hi Pam, I like that you are not daunted by the criticism (which is immediately negated by being posted anonymously, of course - if anyone commenting wants their opinions to be taken seriously, they need to put their name to it and not hide behind anonymity). There is always something good to say about another blogger's outfits, even if it is a different style to your own, and it's a brave thing we do, putting ourselves out there. You're right, the way to inspire and encourage is by being kind and positive. What a lovely email to receive, I hope it offset the mean comment. xxxx

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  35. I love your attitude Pam. Your energy is all flowing toward the positive and you are indeed an inspiration. Can't wait to check out the new site.
    Thanks for sharing this part of the journey. Your honesty is so refreshing.
    xx, Heather

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  36. What a lovely post, interesting blog! I don't harbour negative thoughts and do not accommodate bloggers with destructive comments, and appreciate your take on inspiration. Unless we can say something good, we should rather keep quite. Bloggers who post insulting comments, say more about themselves than about others! Besides, style has no age restriction, and if anybody younger think they have the sole proprietary rights to it, they are seriously mistaken.
    FF

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  37. Some people just can't say anything nice. They might choke. I really like hearing about the different places you go to buy clothes and jewelry. I have also started shopping at consignment stores as inspiration from you. Even went to Ross to get those sandals you posted about (couldn't get the same color though). If there is one thing I might suggest, it would be to cut your bangs a little so your eyes can shine through.

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Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!