over50feeling40: It's The Little Things...And How To Handle Them!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Jan 24, 2013

It's The Little Things...And How To Handle Them!



It has been one of THOSE weeks.  A week when little annoyances just would not go away…they began to eat away at my joy on Tuesday and every day brought one bite after another.  From allergies to computer viruses to Spam Comments to money and just life, chomp, chomp, chomp…
One thing I really like about my age is how I now approach frustrations.  I was raised in a contentious home.  Screaming and arguing were daily specials on the menu.   I spent a huge amount of home time behind a closed door with music and books.  When I first entered the career world, I let every frustration get to me and did not handle them well.  Jumping into an altercation, even if it was a driver who cut me off, was easy for me.  It took a really long time and much assistance before I realized that my home life of youth was leading me into an adult life of bitterness and rage.   I have learned just how much bitterness and unforgiveness will eat away at your health and relationships.  It has been such a long journey, but now that I am on the other side, I welcome the lessons learned.

So, how do I talk myself off the ledge during weeks like this?

1.            I recognize what is happening.  If I see that I just want to eat someone’s lunch over nothing, then I immediately pull back.
2.            That means looking at each annoyance to see if the attitude is worth it.  Is it worth it to lose my joy and sleep over some ridiculous person who just put a virus in my computer system?  They are not around.  To vent upon someone else, an innocent bystander, would destroy the peace of two people!
3.            Understand that I cannot change the situation…it is what it is…bitterness might put me in the doctor’s office and it is just better to deal with the issue calmly than allow anger to grow over it.
4.            Find someone else to help and focus on helping them.  It usually gives me such joy to help others and then I forget my little troubles for awhile. 
5.            Remember, life is short.   I do not want to waste time, energy, and joy on something stupid.  If I keep things in perspective, I often see it is not worth it to have a melt down.

Finally, bring out an outfit to wear which really makes me smile.  Like this one!  I love the colorspurple being my favorite…and the bling in the earrings!  Then I can leave the house smiling no matter what is eating at me!!


I wish everyone a very peaceful weekend!

Black Blouse: Goodwill
Purple, Knit Jacket: Stein Mart
Skirt: Lane Bryant
Brown Tights: Kohls
Shoes: Ross
Necklace: Chicos

45 comments:

  1. Keep zen and as you said, dear Pam, remember life is short.... Take it easy dear!
    xoxoxoxo
    Anne Touraine (Playing With Scarves)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Life is short has become my most important mantra as I get closer and closer to sixty!

      Delete
  2. Wonderful ways to think through frustration, Pam. You have such a peaceful core, it's hard to imagine you any other way. Love your joyful colorful look today! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a sweetheart, Patti...thanks for the encouragement!

      Delete
  3. Hope your weekend is much better than your week has been
    Love the colors and print of this skirt and those shoes are pretty darn cute too
    Brett

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is almost ten on a Friday morning and so far....ALL IS WELL! YES! have a great weekend yourself, Brett!

      Delete
  4. Wise words for all of us to remember Pam! Thanks for visiting my blog, and for your very un-annoyed comments!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by!! I will return to read again!

      Delete
  5. I was raised in a large family, 10 children, with all the noise and fights that entails...plus my dad was an alcholic....my husband and I had 2 boys who are long gone, though they left fairly young. It is only the two of us with our 2 dogs and one cat...and the silence can get deafening for folks who stay over....I love the quiet and peace I have now....and I have learned to pick my fights....sure does help when you don't let every little thing get under your skin....love the bright colors on you!!!
    Sharon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so agree Sharon...and I relish my peace and quite now. It is energizing and gives me time to gather my strength. Wow, 10 kids...I cannot imagine the noise levels! have a peaceful weekend...you have earned them all!

      Delete
  6. Pam I am going to use your tips as I have been extreme trepidation ; and yes the little things have been getting to me!

    Xoxo
    Karena
    New 2013 Artists Series

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff is truth to me, Karen! I so wish I had applied these things when I was younger...live and learn....let's see maybe there are a few more cliches I could throw in here...but they exactly what I think!

      Delete
  7. First of all, you look great in purple! That skirt is really pretty, and looks perfect with that jacket.

    Second, thanks for the words of wisdom. I let little things get to me, too (although a computer virus seems like a pretty big thing to me). I need to remember to shrug off the things that don't matter and appreciate the things that do.

    You're a bright light on a winter night!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love PURPLE...my absolute favorite color...thanks Val! The computer virus was big, but it was worth it to me to pay for the help...those guys gave me peace. it took me so long to learn these lessons, but it has been worth it. You are so nice to say the light comment...blesses me!!

      Delete
  8. We have so much in common dear Pam. I hope I am fortunate enough to meet you some day. Thank you for this very meaningful post. No matter how bad childhood may have been, it's over now. We are free. Let it go. Sending you light and love. Susan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Susan! I would love to meet you as well...San Antonio is a great tourist destination...if you ever travel this direction, please let me know...I will take you to one of our fun lunch venues. Just email me!

      Delete
  9. I learned not to sweat the small stuff a long time ago. Won't go into the gory details but suffice it to say, as long as you and your loved ones are healthy, everything else is easy. I grew up with a mother with a psychological disorder which made my life as a child and adult very difficult. I now have a younger son who has had to deal with an anxiety disorder most of his life. It has not been, nor is, an easy ride. All the other small annoyances in my life I've learned to just let go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortuantely, Marla, we are chiseled by hardships. I am so sorry that you are still dealing with difficulty. You are a classy lady and represent such strength for the rest of us. I hope your weekend is peaceful and joyful!!

      Delete
  10. Great post, solid advice and peaceful thoughts. Keep it up - you're doin' fine! PS Love the outfit!

    Namaste,
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, thank you...and thanks for reading!!

      Delete
  11. You look great in purple. I loved your post today. I would add that if you really, really need to vent talk to your best friend and then forget it. I tease my BF that she is so much cheaper than a therapist:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree! My BF, GIGI, often featured on this blog gets me through...she and I believe God blessed us with each other for VENTING...among other things. We are each other's sounding boards and it helps so much! As long as I have her, there is no need for a counselor. Plus she will engage in a little retail therapy with me. :) Thanks for mentioning this!

      Delete
  12. I just found your blog. Love it! I'm now a follower.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Pam...I love this post...I agree with age comes a little wisdom and we recognise our frustrations and learn to deal and cope with them; great advice here.
    Have a wonderful weekend.
    Catherine
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Catherine, I loved your post today...let's all keep smiling!

      Delete
  14. Love, love, love your blog for many reasons but today's post resonated with me with an out-loud WOW. I can only echo Miss Susan's comments. You are a strong woman today and very much admired. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donna, Thank you so much...you are a sweetheart! Thank you for reading and commenting and I hope you have a very special weekend!

      Delete
  15. Great post Pam!!
    Love your outfit--you look regal in the purple!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOOO, Regal? Tamera? Love that word! Thanks so much. Have a great weekend!

      Delete
  16. Oh, I needed this today! I've been stressing over some issues this week, and not handling it very well. I try to remember not to let small stuff get to me, it's difficult sometimes.

    You look very elegant and classy! Love the skirt and how you used the colors to compliment it.
    Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the sweet words and I am so glad that this helped!! I know I need reminders in my life!

      Delete
  17. Sharing even the bad times with others does help. Your words are true wisdom. I too have had issues as I grew up with a father who was rather abusive. It has taken most of my life to calm down. You are such an inspirational writer. Thank you for being here.

    Purple is the color of royalty and you dear Pam are blogger royalty in my book. (you look fab)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debbi, Your words are so kind and if mine brought you encouragment then I am really blessed by that. Thank you for the sweet words. Have a wonderful weekend!

      Delete
  18. Pam, thanks for reminding me that with age, comes wisdom- I can either accept the situation or change it. And the wisdom is knowing how much energy to apply to the circumstance. Purple is a regal color and also one denoting a higher spiritual truth. I'd say your attitude and spirit can be described as both. Happy Friday, dear Pam!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Amen! We all go through it just learn to handle it in different ways. I tend to lean your way. I try not to let the "miserable" get the satisfaction of getting to me...
    If you have a minute I'm perplexed. My blog template just changed (looks like the mobile version) I did nothing to change it and don't know how to change it back..............YIKES I HATE that layout!
    However, I do really like that skirt. I so appreciate your casual work attire.
    Have a good weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  20. thanks so much,Pam!!!!
    I am learning that I don't always have to be right or know all the answers. I am challenged to live One Day at a Time each day. Thanks so much for being one of my best blog buddies ;)
    big hugs
    Reva

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love that we can share the good, the bad and the ugly--keeping it real as bloggers. It sounds like you have learned some great ways to deal with stress and ugliness. Dealing with it doesn't make it fun however. When in doubt-wear the bright and happy colors!
    Happy weekend Pam!
    Heather
    http://www.stylemindchic.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. Fantastic post! I also grew up around parents who bickered all the time, and I spent my 20s and 30s coping with constant irritability and anxiety, that I could never quite talk myself down from. I've mellowed a LOT but I always use the same 'tips' you've described to calm myself when something bugs me... and i always reflect on how incredibly fortunate i am as the ultimate soother!

    ReplyDelete
  23. oops, forgot to say how much i love that beautiful skirt!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I love the outfit, especially the dress. And you're right, wisdom comes with age :>)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Excellent recommendations! I try very hard not to let the little things get me down. They don't usually make me angry, but they make me depressed. I would add to your list take a walk! A little exercise always improves my mood.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Inspiring blog Pam. Sounds like we had the same type of week! I just started reading MAY CAUSE MIRACLES by Gabrielle Bernstein and she reminds us that miracles happen when we to choose LOVE over FEAR.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I've discovered too that I handle most obstacles and/or frustrations better than I did in my 20s. I'm far from perfect, but now I'm more about problem-solving than crying. Man, I used to cry a lot when I was younger.

    You're right, sometimes it helps to feel more in control and confident just by wearing something beautiful. That skirt is one of my faves of yours.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!