How many books have been written about CHANGES as we enter middle age? We know they are inevitable and the pace does feel like it picks up after age 50. But, so often, I am just not prepared for those changes.
I understand what my birth certificate says, but I do not feel “elderly.” The idea that I am almost 20 years from eighty still does not compute. Wow…even typing the words is a little overwhelming. So, when my husband tells me we must make difficult decisions now, because we might regret not making them in the near future, it is still a foreign concept so very hard to grasp.
As I wrote yesterday, when the economy began to tank big time around three years ago, my husband was laid off by his employer. The company headquartered in New York City decided to lay off employees who were flying in to work from other locations… it actually made sense to me, though hard to take and especially hard on him. I love NYC, however we did not want to move there… too far away from our children.
It is so much more difficult to make a career change and discover new employment when over fifty. At that time, there were several men on our street with the same issues. A couple of them turned to alcohol to solve their pain and one is still in the bottle today. My husband did not believe in taking money from the government to live, so we ate through our savings and racked up credit while helping adult children with weddings and college.
Thank goodness he is employed today and really loves his job, but we are suffering the consequences of going through this time. I write all of this to tell you that we (more him than I) have decided to sell our home. The decision has broken my heart. I just do not want to say goodbye.
But, here is the first lesson I have learned about changes….DO NOT HOLD ON TO ANYTHING TOO TIGHTLY. By selling this home, I might have security in the future which might not otherwise exist. So, it is time to pry open my hands and say goodbye to this place I have loved so much.
Here is what I have decided about this type of change:
1. Be realistic and stop living in a dream world: I am closer to 80 than to 30. The economy is not getting better.
2. Begin mapping memories of moments and things I love. My young family lived in a 1100 square foot home on Larchmont Street for several years and it held special times for us while there, even though we knew we would need more space as the family grew. When we moved to the CURRENT HOME THAT I LOVE, I brought an oak tree with me from Larchmont. I had grown it from acorns of our red oak my favorite tree right in the front yard. The Larchmont Oak Tree grows strong and sturdy in our current back yard today…it will be so sad to bid it farewell, but I am taking pictures of it for my memories.
|The Larchmont Tree|
3. It is just a house. There is no reason to hold on to it so tightly…I must release it and go forward. The children who ran up and down the stairs and slammed the doors are grown and gone.
4. See the future as a new adventure. It is not going to be painful to decorate a new living space, but a joy and fun. I can choose to wallow in the sad good bye, or rejoice in the new hello!
5. I think about the family who will buy our home…may the house and the Larchmont Tree be a blessing to them!
I know that it will be sometime before a new owner appears on the scene. But, it is important that I part ways now with the house emotionally. Oh well, today I am sitting here….loving my desk, my bedroom, the fireplaces…..and they all make me smile!
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!! Thank you for allowing me a post not about fashion or style!