over50feeling40: Unmasking Fears and Celebrating Freedoms
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Jul 1, 2012

Unmasking Fears and Celebrating Freedoms

A raisin/bran muffin....NOT a cupcake!
Two years ago on July 1, I began this blog.  It really does not seem that long ago…but, I have learned so much as I journey on through life.  There are many things I want to say, but I will do my best to keep this concise.  First of all, look at my very first profile picture:
My dear friend, Gigi, talked me into beginning a blog to help other women over 50. I had been through a wake-up call and was encouraging the women in my close circles with lessons learned.  So, Gigi said, “You should start a blog!”  I was willing to give it a try, but not willing to show my face.  I just could not imagine any benefit in doing that, and so very fearful of judgment.  But, one of my favorite quotes, from an Anonymous source is that fear is only
F  alse
E vidence
A  ppearing
R eal

After months of invisibility, Terri at Rags Against The Machine coaxed me from behind the mask.  She modeled courage, and boldness, and inspiration.    It actually was freeing and everything I feared was only false evidence… some of the women I thought would judge, became readers and followers.  Oh, I am not naïve enough to think that there are not some who look at me and laugh, but my focus is on the acceptances and not the rejections.  I have learned as a journalist to develop tough skin and not allow the naysayers to shut me down.

What have I learned the last two years??
        To live life as a gift and not as a chore!
        To just focus on one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow...I do not want to waste today!
         To be transparent with my life: if I mess up…confess it; if I have a down time…confess it; if I do not understand the world of technology…seek help; if I hurt someone….ask for forgiveness; be slow to speak and quick to listen; don’t compare myself to other bloggers…comparisons are deadly.
       To enjoy each and every minute and seek ways to find that JOY!
       Be open to marketing ideas, but be wise and discerning as to what is really good for the audience.
        Don’t let the fact that I am the oldest blogger at the meetups and the oldest blogger covering most fashion shows discourage me….but fuel me to go forward!
        Girlfriends are girlfriends …no matter their location, their ages, or their experiences.  I look as forward to seeing Gigi’s face in the hallways as I do to reading Sacramento’s comments from Spain!
    Through this blog, I have re-discovered my true loves: writing, and encouraging women! These...along with faith, family and friends...keep me smiling!
       Finally, it never fails that when I am having one of those moments, “I am just going to quit blogging, no one cares!” (the false evidence is running rampant in my head) I will inevitably receive an email or a comment which touches my heart and keeps me going forward.

Over50feeling40 has become more than a blog to me….it is an attitude about my life.  I am ageing and I accept that…but I will age with grace, wisdom, maturity, laughter, freedom, strength, dignity, and looking and feeling my best because that gives me CONFIDENCE and confidence is empowering!  I want to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, to all who read and follow, for a fun two years…..and for your friendships.  Also, deep and heartfelt gratitude to:

Gigi (she has motivated me to live as I was created to live….as a writer!)
Terri…  For modeling courage and boldness
Serene…  My blogging and texting buddy…someone I can vent to and receive great advice from….
Bella…  Teaching me about technology, freedom, and strength
Debby S and Anita…Truly like close girlfriends and soul sisters
Deja Pseu, Tish, Sacramento, JillAdrienne, Ariane…. Taking me on travels around the country and world…who cares if I do not have the money to travel…I can do it through their eyes.
Judith…For the role model of strength and dignity you have been to all of us…I want to be you when I grow up! (and Diane Sawyer!)
Last, but not least, Patti for encouraging all of us to be more visible and beginning Visible Monday.
I hope you will visit the Visible Monday bloggers here, and stick with me as I journey on …without the mask!  (Also join in with the bloggers of Monday Mingle.



  1. Congratulations on 2 years of blogging! I enjoy reading your Fashion blog!!

  2. Pam- congratulations on your 2 year blogging anniversary! Please don't stop blogging - I enjoy your blog as I find it very down to earth and honest. You make my day and put a smile on my face. As a matter of fact, I am now working near the Goodwill on 281 and hope to make a trip out there.

  3. Congratulations on 2 years of writing your fun and inspiring blog! Your unique voice is a valued one, and I'm glad you've shared your journeys with us. I'm looking forward to seeing where the future takes you.

  4. Oh,Pam. Happy blogiversary! I want to remember your F.E.A.R. acronym! It is true that we have both learned a lot through the process and like you, I travel via my traveling friends. I have tears in my eyes, knowing the sub-text of this post.

  5. Congratulations Pam!! You look amazing in the coral pink top!!
    Bloggers like you and Patti have encuraged me to step out of my shell and be visible!!

  6. Congratulation on reaching your second year of blogging, if I am around for the next two years, I will be there reading your blog. Have a great day

  7. Congratulations, dear Pam, on your milestone. Your blog is a wonder, full of the most inspiring features and always grounded in reality. It's one of the first ones I ever "joined", because you have spoken so clearly to the woman over 40. Thanks so much for your enthusiastic support and friendship. xoxoxoxoxo

  8. What a lovely and inspiring post and congratulations on two years of blogging! You look fab in coral pink!

  9. I'm a recent reader who came here by way of Deja Pseau. Your blog is fun yet thoughtful. I think you have a voice worth hearing, and I hope you keep on blogging. Congratulations on 2 years!

  10. This is fabulous Pam, congratulations! Your blog is awesome, and I so happy to be able to connect with you. I was invisible for a long time and part of it was fear. I had some real reasons, but nonetheless, I needed to become visible again, for my own well being. By reading and sharing with you and other bloggers, I have embraced being a little bit more visible too. Thank you so much for sharing! :-)

    1. Oh, and you look beautiful in that bright coral! :-)

  11. Pam, I wasn't blogging when you were wearing the mask and I think i'm glad to have met u as you are now. I read your blog everyday and you are such an inspiration to all women, not just the over 50 crowd. Walk tall and be proud of your success. You my friend are making a difference!!!!

  12. Happy blogversary! Glad I was able to meet you through the virtual world!

  13. You've said it all in this post. I've had misgivings and concerns similar to yours, resolutions and challenges similar to yours, and vicarious joys and affirmations similar as well. Congratulations! I'm so glad to be able to share in this community. I love the acknowledgement of your blogging "buddies" and the way they've impacted you. I agree they are extraordinary women.

    Your anniversary outfit is beautiful, too.

  14. So funny that we began our blogs around the same time. Happy blog birthday and thank you for the mention. I still have a bucket full of travel posts to write - just for your viewing enjoyment.

    So wonderful getting to know you, Pam.
    Big hugs and congratulations to you.
    Here's to year 3!


  15. Congrats! I hope I'm still enjoying this after two years. It's been life changing for sure.

  16. I think you sum it up for a lot of us - the fear that is so easy to hide behind, the virtual network that is so important and the destructive moments of comparison to others. All things that are important to bloggers of a certain age. And that's why your blog is a vital part of the blogging community - you pinpoint it so well. You help us build our confidence in a world that so strongly focuses on youth! Thank you for keeping it up - looking forward to the next two years!

  17. Congratulations on two years of blogging, not just for the time itself but for all you've shared in that time.

  18. I am honoured to have met you, my dearest Pam.
    Happy 2 years Blog anniversary.
    Let´s walk hand in hand for many more years.
    Thank you for wearing this gorgeous skirt, you look CUTE AS A BUTTON.
    Much love always

  19. What an inspiring post, Pam!
    You're a beautiful person inside and out, and I'm honored to have gotten to know you.

  20. Thanks for removing the mask! I love the acronym, FEAR. It is a pleasure getting to know you!

  21. Congratulations! Although I am a newer reader of your blog I really enjoy your topics and sense of style. Hope you have a fabulous year 3!

  22. I am pretty new to your blog - but congrats on two years! It feels fantastic, doesn't it? And I totally get the anonymous thing... and coming out in bits and pieces... I was anonymous for a little less than a year, and semi-anonymous for two more years, and "came out" a month ago, on my three-year anniversary.

    I will say, there are advantages to anonymity in some regards, and very freeing to step out from behind the mask as well. Always thrilled to see other women make their journey and grow more assured in the process.

    And delighted to have found you!

  23. Awe... Pam, you just brought a big smile to my face on what was a tough Monday morning. Funny, how someone can do or say something touching and totally change your attitude. Yup, we are soul sisters. So happy to have met you through blogging. You are an amazing woman! xo

  24. Congratulations Pam...time goes so quickly doesn't it? I've now been blogging for just over a year and absolutely LOVE it...and I'm delighted to have met you ;-)
    Have a great week.

  25. Pam, Happy Bloggerversary! It's so hard to imagine my blog life without Over 50 Feeling 40, you have become such a wonderful presence here. And what an honor to see me mention on such a stellar list above. I wish you daily joy and many more successful milestones to celebrate! xo. -Bella Q the Citizen Rosebud

  26. Dear, dear Pam,

    Happy, happy anniversary! Don't you dare ever think of resigning from the blog world. You are a gift -- so full of joy, wisdom and kindness. You also know how to dress with style which we all appreciate.

    Thank you for the mention. I'm honored.


  27. Very touching post and the last photo ,very symbolic.You\ve been inspiring me for sometime now and I want to be part of your group for years to come.
    Actyally I\m about to beggin a new chapter in my life and I'm very fearful. Your words today have me calmed down.Happy anniversary

  28. Pam what beautiful writing...it brought tears. i share so many of the same sentiments about blogging, but my favorite by far are the people I have met.

    Congratulations on the second anniversary of your blog. I enjoy yours so for it's encouraging and upbeat attitude. May you celebrate many, many more anniversaries!

  29. Happy blog birthday!I have enjoyed reading your post for the last year and I hope I will enjoy for years.

  30. Congratulations and happy 2 year blogging anniversary! I can't get over how awesome and supportive the blogging community is, I've also "met" so many amazing women! Anyway, thank you so much for coming by my blog and following along. I'm following you back!

  31. Congratulations, Pam! What an inspiring post! Thank you for your encouragement! You know, I also often think about quitting my blog. Sometimes I think that it takes too much time and effort, but deep down I know that I should continue my blog-o-journey. Have a fabulous week!

  32. Happy 2 year blog anniversary! It's my first time here. I, too, am over 50 and aging with as much grace and in and wisdom as I can. Loved this post. Am going to subscribe ...so appreciated what you wrote today and loved that you topped it off with the flying mask!

  33. Wonderful post, Pam. We are so happy that you are here! While I can't believe anybody would ever laugh at your photos, I am moved by the fact that you, too, were reluctant to post them at first. It's hard to believe, given how polished and beautiful they (and you) are. Happy blogversary!

  34. Happy blog anniversary, Pam. You've done a great job and are very inspiring.

  35. Awwww Pam! I can't believe it's been 2 years already! I think you and I actually started around the same time! It's been a joy to see you blossom and spread the word: Attitude! Attitude transforms just about any situation for good or bad, and you show how to use attitude to embrace and enjoy our lives. Getting older is NOT a burden or a bad thing....it's a WONDERFUL thing - consider the alternative! And if we're fortunate, we'll ALL grow to be old FABULOUS women!

    You're one of the very first bloggers I met. You, Paula and Terri are my oldest blogging friends and it's so interesting to see where life has taken us over the past couple of years. You are SO right! Girlfriends are girlfriends and I think of you guys as true blue! If I never get to meet you in person, I'm still here for you just the same and consider you one of my sweetest friends and a gift. God sends just who we need exactly when we need them! Big hug and I'm going to end now, because frankly, I'm already starting to tear up! ~Serene

  36. i started following you post mask
    so glad you ditched that!
    i hate that little trick
    if you are gonna do a fashion blog, you need to show your pretty face

  37. Wow! What a great post. I love it when fellow bloggers focus on the positive. There's been too much negativity going around!

  38. Pam, I am so behind right now and as I began reading your posts I found this beautiful piece of self expression. I am honored to be included in your two year anniversary post. I have been inspired by you many times and continue to appreciate how you share yourself with honesty and style. I now realize that you started blogging just days before I did, so we are on a similar path. This blogging community has given so many gifts, and I can relate to your story about approaching the brink of quitting, and just as you describe, an email or comment changes everything once again. I look forward to following you for many years to come!


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!