over50feeling40: Craving Visibility or Declaring Visibility…there is a Difference!
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Jun 3, 2012

Craving Visibility or Declaring Visibility…there is a Difference!


I hope all of you are rested and relaxed after a summer weekend!  I love VISIBLE MONDAY, and appreciate Patti beginning this meet up of bloggers, as she writes, to “Promote the gloriously visible woman!”  I really like blogger collaborations…it is like a group of girlfriends gathering weekly for a chat.  I also understand that the original intention was to inspire the participants to feel more visible in our daily lives.
Seychelles Shoes from Ross
  But, today, another blogger described VISIBLE Monday in these words:  “a roundup of stylish older women who struggle to feel visible.”  Ouch!  I do not really understand why these words bother me so much, but they do. The words conjure up an image of the Hallmark Card elderly woman standing on a street corner jumping up and down with a sign that says NOTICE ME!!   I know the blogger meant no harm with her description (she was honoring Patti who deserves the recognition); however, choice of words are important and she just might not get what “visibility is about.” She might also be surprised to discover there are bloggers who participate younger than she is.
Scarf from Marshalls
Bracelet from Forever 21 Jewelry
  I think the words struck me funny, because I am confident and content where I am right now. I also have an image of the 40+ Bloggers as women of strength and dignity….a legitimate voice in the fashion and style industry.  Not pathetic, needy, victims struggling for visibility.  You could actually say that any fashion blogger could be labeled as struggling for visibility and that is why they blog. There are many who say those things, but perhaps not in the same words.   
Yes, the truth is I am older, but not struggling, except to get a regular exercise program going!   I see participants in this collaboration I would consider to be all ages…so singling out older women doesn’t really work here.  Does anyone else feel like you are “struggling” for visibility?  I personally think VISIBLE MONDAY is about CONFIRMING our visibility and making a statement to retailers, designers, stylists, or anyone else that we are strong, dignified, creative women with a voice, a budget, and charisma.  I applaud you!

Cardigan and blouse from Chicos
Pants from Talbots
You are all gorgeous and I love to see what you wear each week.  So hop on over to Patti's Site and see the other ladies…no matter their ages, they are beautiful and visible!  Of course, if you have an opinion in this discussion….please chime in! And, for the record, the other blogger is an amazing talent with a huge following...this wasn't about her, but about word choice and who we are!
Maybe I was a little too hard on the Hallmark Senior...she seems like a pretty strong woman
herself!!
http://notdeadyetstyle.blogspot.com/2012/06/visible-monday-49-visible-in-black-and.html

37 comments:

  1. Awesome post Pam!!! I think visible Monday CELEBRATES our vitality!!

    I'm not struggling to feel visible!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. After listening to interviews by Meryl Streep and other strong "visible" women, I feel that the "push-back" to Hollywood's "youth culture" is starting to make an impact. The fact that Ines de la Fressange is a fashion icon and still walking the runways in France every age group is evidence that women of a certain age are not to be pushed aside by teenage girls. Women of a certain age are still interested in fashion and have the purchasing power to back up that interest. Hilary Clinton has a stellar political career. Great Britain is currently celebrating the long reign of a wise and queenly queen. The list goes on and on and on. You can find strong, mature women in every profession forging new pathways for others to follow. Mature (women of a certain age) are getting the recognition they deserve--not only in the Board Room, but in Hollywood and on the runways. Oddly enough, it was the entertainment and fashion industry that seem to be the last ones to accept strong, intelligent, and mature women. Why it that I ask myself? Is it that more movies are being produced by women? Is there room for more growth? Absolutely!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love Visible Monday because it gives me a chance to see all the style bloggers. I never knew there was such a thing until just a few months ago and I find it to be the most fun I have had in a long time. It has even brought my 14 year old daughter and I closer because she takes the photos. I am just having a blast and feel we are in times of great influence so why not put our style out there? We are the ones with the disposable income so we should have a strong voice when it comes to fashion. Women want what they see, so... they shall see us. :-) I agree that we are CONFIRMING our strength here! I can't begin to imagine that any of us are desperate, except for what you mentioned, a regular exercise program (beyond walking the dog). :-) xo!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pam, you've put this beautifully and I couldn't agree more! I think the loveliest women and most interesting ones I know are visible because they are, not because they're trying to be. So well put girly! I even mentioned you in my post today because of this! Hugs! ~Serene

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well said. I suspect that many folks in our world feel invisible for a variety of reasons and age is just one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Agree!

    Also, had a great belly laugh over the "except to get an exercise program going" comment!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Agree!

    Also, had a great belly laugh over the "except to get an exercise program going" comment!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I enjoy your blog because you always make me think! I didn't care for the blogger's use of the word struggle. Yes, we are visible, confident, and fashionable!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love to be visible, confident and fashionable too! ^_^

    Kim,USA

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great of you to pick up on that comment Pam. I read it as well and also felt 'ouch'. I don't struggle at all to be visible. In fact I have never felt better. I feel that my visibility will grow with age as I will take on more risks in my appearanceI think what we are doing at visible Monday and at our own sites, is to show that women over 40 can still look fabulous, trendy and amazing. We are giving many women inspiration on how they can dress. We are already so bombarded with images of young, thin models, so it is great for many women to see women of an older age and different body shapes, having fun with fashion. That is what for me visible Monday and my site is all about: giving women ideas, inspiration and encouragement to look fabulous. No matter what your age!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your blog was good, i am too confident. Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you gorgeous, Pam
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ugh. I get where you are coming from. Not a great description and totally not accurate. You, my friend, are not struggling to be visible at all! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thank you, dear Pam, for your unwavering support of us over-40 women, and women of all ages! The Menopausal Supermodel, Tamera, has an incredible post today about her great-grandmother : >

    ReplyDelete
  17. A wonderful post, Pam!
    I suppose we blog for different reasons....mine, being a way to cope with changes that's occurring in my life. I blog for fun and trying really hard not to take myself too seriously. I love the interactions and the support from blog friends. Visible or not, I just enjoy being around such lovely & genuine ladies.<3

    ReplyDelete
  18. Completely agree. My husband had a hard time understanding why I wanted to be a part of Visible Monday because as a whole, he knows me to be 1) introverted and private 2) not overly interested in fashion--meaning, I don't buy the magazines, change my wardrobe by buying new clothes every season (although he is painfully aware of my handbag and scarf addictions), etc. I explained to him this was appealing to me because it is focusing on "real" women, not airbrushed, pubescent girls who are trying to sell an inflated fantasy. This is real...women creatively showing their authentic selves with no apologies.

    I think he "gets" it now.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm not sure why some people use blogging to leave hurtful word., I had a recent comment on my anniversary post that was particularly off putting. I like the idea of visible Monday. Hugs and wishes for a beautiful week ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You go lady! Every VM participant that I've visited clearly owns their visibility!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I read that post too, and I agree that she didn't mean any harm. But no matter the intention words can still hurt. Years ago I experienced being invisible to others, and it was so humiliating! In fact it wasn't until I started blogging that it changed. So Visible Monday is very important to me, as a way of celebrating how visible I've become, not by craving attention from others, but by being strong, sexy and stylish!

    I'm so glad that you've put into words, what was in my heart. Thank you Pam!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I like how you match the brown and turquoise! I like that Visible Monday is all about helping "promote the gloriously Visible Woman."

    ReplyDelete
  23. As one 40+ blogger to another, I appreciate everything you said! And I love your outfit. Thank you for being visible!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You're not struggling for nothin'! I'm 35 and I read you just as happily and faithfully as I read blogs by younger women. I *don't* read blogs by skinny, young, model-like women with money to burn (that's what fashion mags are for). I like to read about authentic extraordinary woman like you!

    Cheers,
    Eleanorjane

    ReplyDelete
  25. Pam... You are always so right on target...Thank you for being perceptive and aware that as we age, we are having fun, looking great and far, far from struggling to do so...
    Better choice of words is definitely called for...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Pam, you are gorgeous and your outfit today, well... I must say I would love to mimic that look.

    I am 58 and have fun every day whether off somewhere shopping or at home all by my little old self. It's an inner thing and I wish all women could find this place in life on the inside as they age. It's so important to feel good about oneself.

    Round-up of women? Hmmm, makes me feel like singing 'git along little dogie'. LOL Sorry, no offense meant to the blogger that wrote those words.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anytime I hear the word 'struggle' it doesn't paint the best image in my opinion. We should just celebrate ourselves, and just accept ourselves for what we are. I really love that bangle bracelet btw ;)

    ReplyDelete
  28. YaY,Pam!!!!!!!!!!
    I was a bit shocked to see my quote out there, but also glad that we can admit and own our strive to look good, and FEEL GOOD about how we look! No matter what age we are, all women have a need to reach out to like-minded others, to stay lovely and we have the right to try new things and sometimes fail! That's what 'saged' women do. We are REAL :) and Real = Beautiful!
    Love you and big hugs to you and Serene!!!!
    Reva

    ReplyDelete
  29. When you tire of that bracelet, I'll be happy to do an exchange ;)
    So glad you are getting back to YOU!
    Hugs
    Reva

    ReplyDelete
  30. What a great post, Pam. I totally agree. We are women of all ages coming together to celebrate our unique and individual selves, to embrace each other in our strengths and support and encourage one another in helping to overcome our weaknesses. We can be true women of strength and yet sometimes be vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with that. We can actually do quite a lot through our little ole fashion blogs, for ourselves and others. It might even be more than showing off our cute new shoes. Sometimes you'd be surprised. I love US!

    ReplyDelete
  31. To be honest, there are days when it would be really nice to have just one person I see in real life to say to me "You look nice today." It is not that I am craving visibility, but it would be nice to be acknowledged, especially when I see so few women put much effort in dressing nice while out shopping or even at the grocery store.
    The acceptance I have gotten as a blogger has certainly helped me be more self confident. I treasure every Visible Monday because I get to share it with so many wonderful women.

    ReplyDelete
  32. First off, you look gorgeous in this outfit! I love a blue/brown/taupe combination day day.

    I think we can expect the 40+ demographic to exert remarkably growing clout in style, film, food, pretty much everything in the next five years as the boomers, many of whom enjoy financial security, demand more options and more reflections of themselves. This is great news!! I would invest in shoe companies that make stylish women's footwear for post-traumatic high-heel dysfunction (PTHHD)... Maybe we'll even be setting the trends... Why not? I love the celebration going on in Patti's Visible Monday. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I don't think we 'older' bloggers are struggling for visibility at all. Just look at the gorgeous gals out there strutting their stuff ;-) Possibly an incorrect use of words. I don't feel at all invisible, I most often feel anything but.

    You look gorgeous in the outfit Pam. I have not been visiting all y favourite ladies quite as regularly as usual, so I'm trying catching up here on your lifestyle change/challenge.

    We all need to take time to reassess at times, I'm in need of it too. How I wish I could take the summer off to catch up on 'life'.

    Hugz

    ReplyDelete
  34. Love your words. I'm now 41 and feeling more visible and confident than ever! Thanks for sharing on Monday Mingle and have a great week. xoxo Nicole

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi Pam: I am just catching up on blog reading and am so glad I didn't miss this. Love your perspective here -- so on point. And I am also loving all the comments by these wonderful bloggers and women, explaining what visibility means to them. Thanks to you, and Patti, and to ALL the over 40 bloggers for doing what you do.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I don't take part in visible Monday's, though I love the idea. I think it's because I do struggle with being visible. Look at all the images of women on the web and the media. A huge percentage of these images are of young women. It gets a little depressing, and I do feel invisible sometimes.
    Ifb just did a list of thirty 30 year and older bloggers. Lumped in there were women and men everywhere from thirty to seventy. I know the idea was to celebrate "older" fashion bloggers, but it felt like anyone over 20 was just lumped into this "older than us" group.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!