over50feeling40: June 2011
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Jun 29, 2011

Spice Up Summer with an Accessory Swap!!!

The lazy, hazy days of summer can really drag on unless we spice them up a bit!! Is anyone game? How about an over50feeling40 SUMMER ACCESSORY SWAP?

The rules are simple….just tell me here if you want to participate. I will pair you up with another blogger and you will exchange accessories (dollar value not over $25). Then we will all style a look with the accessories and post them on our sites on Tuesday, August 2!! I will make sure on that day to have everyone’s link on my site.

Review…all you have to do is let me know if you want to participate by Friday. On Saturday, I will post the pairs. Then you contact each other and arrange for the swap!! Style a look. Post it on August 2.

The last accessory swap I participated in was tons of fun. I loved getting a secret package that I did not know what was going to be inside!! Spread the word around on your Twitter and Face Book and let’s get as many to participate as possible!

Jun 28, 2011

Matching Your Wardrobe with Your Hats

Men will not like this post. Why? Sometimes truth hurts. But, for the most part, women were created to be the ones who can most effectively multitask. Today, across America you will find men sitting in their lounge chairs after work struggling with a remote….while in the kitchen a woman talks on the phone, cooks dinner, changes out laundry cycles, feeds the dog, and does homework with a child…all at the same time!

We most often wear the majority of hats…whether single, married, or retired…women easily accept different roles. We are the relational ones who want the hats…after all not many guys go to the restroom together! Right?

We have a career hat…mom hat…grandmother hat…volunteer hat…wife hat….friend hat…daughter hat…aunt hat….and also special talents hats! I wrote out all of my duties as a mother once and it was too long to post here but included baker, cook, teacher, party planner (now wedding planner), taxi, maid, etc. etc.

My question today is HOW DO YOU DRESS FOR ALL THE HATS? As a woman on a teacher’s income, I have to make certain that my wardrobe serves many purposes. I try to think of all of the mileage I can get before I make a purchase. As I stated in my previous post, I did this when I picked the wedding outfit. Mileage is an important plus for me.

Are there any of you who buy in sections: outfits for work, outfits for play, outfits for dates, etc?? Please share with us how that strategy works. Or are some of you like me…seeking multitasking for the wardrobe as well!!

  Please join in the conversation....I have to go now and put on the teacher hat!!

Jun 27, 2011

Be Visible: Walk Out with a Smile

But, I'm still smiling!

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

Visibility has to do with so much more than clothing or accessories. I think you can put on just about anything and if you wear it with confidence and joy, then you are going to turn heads when you walk into a room.

Joy is attractive and contagious. Your smile and your posture can say so much and demand attention! My mother used to sing to me. I believe it is one of the reasons why I walk around singing…but of her many selections, one was “Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day!”

It was over 100, sizzling degrees outside when I coaxed my husband into shooting these pictures yesterday, so my smile had to be the umbrella to keep the sun away! White jackets just seem to demand visibility no matter when you wear them and I love the look of a white jacket with darker colors…this green is one of my favorites because it makes my eyes pop like a firecracker!

Jacket: Stein Mart
Blouse: Old Navy

When Patti first talked about the invisibility of the over 40 woman, I had to ponder the post for a while. Most women, no matter the age, feel invisible at some point during their lifetime. In fact, I will go so far as to say that “invisibility” is a universal problem with women…but it doesn’t have to be. It only takes a jolt of confidence, a big smile, and some great accessorizing to capture the audience in a room!! We can do it every day!

Accesories give me joy!

Now, please jump over to Patti’s site Not Dead Yet Style and see the other fabulously visible chic ladies…and put your smile on before you walk out that door!!

Jun 25, 2011

Behind "Dressing Room" Doors

I’m going to be a nosy neighbor! I want to know everything….I want to go where usually only you go…into the privacy of the dressing room!!

No, I don’t want pictures…I just want to know what you are thinking when you get there. What thoughts are really happening when you first look in the mirror….

Do you tend to have negative thoughts first? (I’ll try this, but there is no way it will look good on me)

Do you tend to have hopeful thoughts first? (I hope this works…it’s really cute on the hangar)

Do you blame your body or the clothes if something doesn’t look good on you?

Is there anyone out there who takes items home without trying them on at the store?

Are you typically shopping in a rush or do you allow time to shop?

Do any of you make the clothes you like work by having them tailored? How do you decide to tailor an outfit in the dressing room?

I left this one behind...I will tell
you why later!

(I know I am bombarding you…but stick with me…please!) When you first walk into that dressing room, what are you really looking for? Be honest…are your first thoughts to look youthful….to look hot….to look skinny….what is going on in the mind?

I am on a quest this summer…not to get in your dressing room, but to help you once you get there!! In order to really be of assistance, I need to understand where you are…what you are processing? Gigi has patiently listened to what I am up to and she says I am on to something…so I hope we will discover some new style territory together!!

First time, in a long time
I have worn black on black!
I like it!  I really like
the neckline on this blouse
from Marshall's
Bag: Target
Shoes: Stein Mart

Now, who would like to open the door, invite us in and get the conversation going?????

Jun 24, 2011

Energy Renewal: How Do You Do It?

My house is full of flowers right now and that
has made it a little more relaxing!  But,
the chaos of three family workers

This week has been tough!  I confess it....I had to follow a grueling wedding weekend with work, family, and post-wedding duties.  I wish I could have just chilled for a few days, but it was necessary that I jump right back in to life!!

I have tried to eat very healthy....take my vitamins...go to bed early...but I am just now beginning to feel a little like my old self!  So, it occurred to me to ask you, sweet readers, how you do it??  How do you get a refreshing shot of energy when you cannot stop life and relax??

Are there any secrets out there that anyone would like to share??

I bet they are relaxed!!  One more look
at the bride and groom...singing
to each other!!

Jun 22, 2011

It Should Have Stayed at the Store

Don't get me wrong...I still love
my jeggings and the Chico's
travelers V neck!

Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

In the last year, there have been many moments of re-evaluation. As I have lost weight, begun to find some new role models, and also begun to ask (finally) the right questions, I have started to look at my closet with a much more critical eye. As you know, refining and reinventing me since I turned 50 seven years ago has been quite a process. But, I believe it is growing into something wonderful and I am anxious to get my thoughts down in the blog and hopefully have some thought-provoking discussions.

I also still love the sandals from Ross!

 In the next month, I will celebrate the one year blogoversery of over50feeling40 and I’ll also turn 58! Between now and then, I plan to launch some different ideas and hope that you will enjoy coming along with me.

As with most things, in order to advance forward, I need to understand where I have been. Today’s look portrays one of the pitfalls many of us jump into….attempting to follow a trend whether it is right for us or not. I purchased this long jacket last year when bright pink was coming back with a vengeance. I remember thinking, “I must have something hot pink! I like the flowy long jacket! I will get this.” That was the extent of my purchasing thought process. Now, it is comfortable and isn’t all that bad…but I wished I had saved the money!  It is oversized and a little too much color coming down the street!  With that said, there is nothing wrong with the shirt, or me...but I have learned it is not the right shirt for the style I desire for me!

The only good news here is that the bright colors remind me of our rehearsal dinner in The Market Square of San Antonio at La Margarita….(when I get through discussing bad decisions I have made in some of these posts….I made need a margarita!)Enjoy some of the pictures and would anyone like to confess if they have purchased a trend they regretted and why?????

Jun 21, 2011

That All Important Buying Decision - How Did It Happen for the Wedding?

In this picture, you can see the great
seaming in this jacket.

Fashion purchasing decisions. I have spent a great amount of time since I began this blog last summer pondering why we buy what we buy. In my lifetime, I have taken a semi-truck load of clothing to Goodwill simply filled with decisions which never should have left the store. I am actually embarrassed that it has taken me almost 50 years to begin to understand what I am looking for when I shop.

Coco Chanel’s statement, “Fashion fades, only style remains the same,” is one I have pondered for a long time, so I hope in the future as I share my quest for “What is Pam’s style?” that the posts coming up will also help many of you. Every woman needs to face the question: What do my purchasing decisions say about me?

There is no better place to begin than with the wedding outfit selection. Some of you might remember I began here:

When I first fell for this gown, I was thinking of these components:

1. Evening wedding in a formal setting

2. Black to go with the B & W tux my husband would be wearing

3. Gigi was standing there saying: THIS IS AMAZING! YOU MUST HAVE IT! (Peer pressure has much to do with decisions!)

4. I felt amazing in it!

What stopped me from walking out with the dress was my lack of hard, cold cash. I petitioned my husband for the dress and in his wisdom he said, you know I think it is just too much dress….it costs more than the bride’s dress…and he believed I would be very hot (literally, hot, not sexy) in it. He would have been exactly right.  I looked at the picture of the first dress and thought: what do I really want to say about me at this event?  OK, yes, I want to look and feel younger...I want to look thinner...I want to be classy and chic....and feel confident.

The suit included a beautiful
jacket and classic pencil
skirt. Topped off with

So, I waited and kept trying to formulate a picture of what I saw myself wearing. That was when my friend, Kerry, called. She represents New York designer, Jana Kos. Kerry was the one who said, I think you need a fabulous suit with a great fit. Her reasoning was that a well- tailored, classy suit met the occasion and I would get much wear out of it. She had the courage to point out, (and I agree with her), that many of the looks I currently wear on my blog are oversized or do not fit well. This is mostly due to my weight loss and a closet in transition. She said, “YOU NEED TO WEAR A LOOK THAT FITS YOUR BODY!”

When I went to her workplace to try on samples, I was amazed. The Jana Kos fit was nothing like anything I had ever put on …so flattering and classy. It really opened my eyes to how expensive clothing can be worth it if it looks like it was designed just for you! I tried on several pieces and wish I could have left with more than two, but the jacket and skirt I wore for the wedding were perfect (and I know you will see them again on this site, just styled differently. I would have been out of place in the other dress and, perhaps, faint from heat. The silver and black in the jacket created a very chic, formal look which went perfectly with the tuxes and the occasion. My husband even surprised me with a beautiful necklace …the creme de la creme of the entire look.

Now, I am a proponent of affordable fashion. I love a good deal just as much as the next woman does, but I do want to say that this experience taught me that often times, YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. Jana Kos is expensive, but I have never worn anything I felt this good in! Parents of my students gifted me the money for the outfit and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the gift, but I am convinced that her line of clothing is worth establishing a little savings account and occasionally buying a treat for my wardrobe! The lines, the cut, the fabrics are fabulous!

Later this month, I will attend a show introducing the Jana Kos Fall 2011 line and bring you a detailed report of what I discover there! Until then, remember to ask yourself when you first look in a dressing room mirror…do the clothes fit your body and the occasion??  We are beginning together to discover what leads to our purchasing decisions!

My husband gave me the perfect
accessory for the total look!!

Can't wait to see the line in a couple of weeks!

Jun 20, 2011

She Got What She Wanted

…..I’m not just talking about the groom!! I am talking about the wedding. When my daughter and I began to work on her wedding last January, she had very specific goals in mind:

1. She wanted the wedding reception to be fun!

2. She wanted a romantic, vintage feel to both.

3. She wanted the ceremony to be reverent and meaningful.

Well, she got it all. A fabulous, romantic night on top of the world.  Now, my desire is NOT to have this blog become a FACE BOOK page with pictures of people you do not know or care about, but I hope to divide the last few days into some topics which may be of interest to you. All I really want to do today (since I am still battling fatigue) is tell you that the last three days were clothed in joy. That does not mean that all of the stress of family dynamics were avoided (of course it had to be my mother who got stuck in an elevator), but the choices we made were laughter over stress. Once again, I see how choosing joy over anything else brings successful results. So, no matter what you face today…I encourage you… CHOOSE JOY!  As I get older, I have learned that it really is a choice more than a feeling.

Bridesmaids Dresses and necklaces came
from Ann Taylor...only $80 each for
the dress.
Centerpieces such as this one added
to the romantic/vintage feel.
We found so many ideas on

I smiled and laughed a lot!

Tomorrow, I will hopefully get to a post about what I wore….I’ve given you a little tease above!!

The Chocolate moustaches were a hit and we found them
made by Julie Dekom....they tasted delicious!

The garter was made from Katie Gager.  It wa
$20 and exactly what the bride wanted.  Contact Katie at
She can tell you her Etsy site for cute headbands
as well!!

The recpetion was on the top of a 1920s building restored for
apartments and party venue.  The city skyline is on one
side and we could see the fireworks from the theme
parks at one point on the other!

Jun 15, 2011

Let The Countdown Begin!

An outfit for running errands!!
Blouse by Paraphase: Marshall's
Jacket: Old Navy

I decided to post today just to take my mind off of the chaos for a few minutes…but this will be my last post until after the wedding…or until I have the energy to post again next week!! I do not think I could ever be a wedding planner and deal with this all the time…it is exhausting, but I am sure for someone called to be an official WP, the chaos is exhilarating!!

When we selected our venue last winter, we looked at several beautiful places open in August, but ruled them out because August is when we have brutal 100 degree humid weather! Well, wouldn’t you know it , the weather this Saturday is forecast to be 103 degree sweltering heat!! The reception is outside, but doesn’t begin until sunset and is on the roof of a building where there will be breeze…still it might be toasty at first. June is not usually this hot or this dry!

My $2.00 Target Shoes from Goodwill

At one point, I mentally made a list of everything that could go wrong….but mentally discarded the list and decided to focus on all that can go right.


We are adding to our family a wonderful young man and he puts a smile on our daughter’s face like none other.

The wedding brings together family members who have not seen each other for a long time.

The wedding brings together friends who have not seen each other for a long time.

Our wedding planner is a dear family friend and has done a fabulous job!

Our daughter has planned a FUN wedding and FUN it will be!

Bracelet: Kohls
Ring: Stein Mart
(if it's hot or we run out of food or the sound system fails...so be it...)

Next week, I will share pictures…tell you the story of my outfit….put my feet up….and RELAX! Have a great weekend, all!

Jun 14, 2011

San Antonio Roses Love Lace!

Ladies in San Antonio love their lace…turquoise…silver….leather and all things feminine western!! Visitors will often see this on many women in our multi-cultural city…it is another way to style lace, but one that is very popular in Texas. Thinking of this, had me humming an old Bob Wills country song called San Antonio Rose. Here are the lyrics….and here’s to all of you San Antonio Roses out there!!

Deep within my heart lies a melody

A song of old San Antone

Where in dreams I live with a memory

Beneath the stars all alone.

It was there I found beside the Alamo

Enchantment strange as the blue up above

A moonlit pass that only she would know

Still hears my broken song of love.

Moon in all your splendor knows only my heart

Call back my Rose, Rose of San Antone

Lips so sweet and tender like petals falling apart

Speak once again of my love, my own.

Broken song, empty words I know

Still live in my heart all alone

For that moonlit pass by the Alamo

And Rose, my Rose of San Antone.

Good will provided this lace shirt with bling!
Only $2.00
The sheer lace top and the fabulous green
necklace came from Stein Mart!

I have several lace handkerchiefs from grandmothers
and great grandmothers.  They always make a
nice touch with a suit jacket.

Many cowgirls wear lace with their western

Now, check out all of the lacey ladies at Everybody, Everywear

Jun 12, 2011

The Similarity Between Style and Public Speaking

Effortless style is what I am going for
this busy, busy week! The cardigan
is very Stien Mart.

I start teaching summer school this week…that’s right on top of final wedding preparations, I will also be teaching high school students how to speak!! I am a glutton for punishment!

Almost every day, I have to quickly leave class and go run a wedding errand. The week is very scheduled with what must be done on which day! Praise God, I have a wedding planner and she is amazing and a lifesaver. I do not think I could have done this alone!

Confidence is a main ingrediant for
successful public speaking and style!

I love teaching summer school speech! I believe strongly that proper speaking skills can lead to success across many venues. I was grieved when I went to the blogger’s conference in Austin last spring to hear almost every speaker begin with an apology….I am not a good speaker….were the first words out of several mouths. These beautiful, accomplished young ladies who have so much going for them began with an apology about their communication skills. That should NEVER happen!! I really hope to change things like that one speaker at a time!!  And, yes, I am passionate about it!

 My style is more along the lines of the Dale Carnegie type of speaking…conversational (not canned) speech! Dale Carnegie wrote, “The man who writes out and memorizes his talks is wasting his time and energy, and courting disaster. All our lives we have been speaking spontaneously. We haven’t been thinking of the words. We have been thinking of ideas. If our ideas are clear, the words come as naturally and unconsciously as the air we breathe.”
Public speaking and style are similar in the sense that you really have the snap of your fingers to get someone's attention!  How you look and the first words out of your mouth are very important...especially in the business world!!

The necklace is Chico's...bracelets are from
various places!  I like to mix them up!

I always tell them, I am teaching you to speak….not read!
Are there any of you out there who would like to offer your suggestions for successful public speaking??

Wanted!  That's the brand of these gold flats
from Marshall's

Jun 11, 2011

Thirty Powerful Minutes

Thirty minutes of peace underway!!

Just thirty minutes. Thirty minutes of peace. Thirty minutes away from the world. It is amazing just how powerful thirty minutes can be.

Yesterday afternoon, for thirty minutes, I received my Anti-Ageing Facial from local esthetician, Jennifer Brown. Her brochure says the following about this facial:

“Perfect for mature, sallow, tired skin. AHA’s peptides, Vitamin C, and Vitamin E stimulate natural cell regeneration making it ideal for improving elasticity and flexibility of the epidermis while reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.”

Jennifer loves making people feel beautiful and
relaxed.  If you are in SA, call her, at

She also does other facials…I will have to try THE ULTIMATE RELAXING FACIAL next time. For now, this one was plenty relaxing. A room away from all outside noise (and 100 degree heat and 5:00 traffic), soft lights, candles, trickling water, soothing guitar music, aromatherapy, and pampering…..who could ask for anything more. In fact, I was so relaxed, that I went home and was in bed very early….I just could not stay awake. Thank you Jennifer!! I am now ready to face a week of chaos!

Yes, my skin feels amazing…soft and lifted. And it only took thirty wonderful minutes.

Do any of you get a regular facial and if so, how often??