over50feeling40: Blogger Dilemma: What Would You Do?
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

May 17, 2011

Blogger Dilemma: What Would You Do?

San Antonio Fashion & Passion Weekend

Followers of this blog perhaps read the recent posts from the fashion event held in San Antonio, but I have not written of everything.

I sat through an hour beauty demonstration featuring an experienced makeup artist who works events such as Hollywood red carpet galas and New York Fashion Week runway shows. I sat on the front row and took a multitude of notes and pictures. I asked questions specific to my 50+ audience. She had some great comments and guidance which was new to me and I was anxious to share with you….ladies that would learn from her knowledge as well. As I was leaving, I handed her my card and told her she would be featured on my blog. I actually did this at most of the booths I visited that day.

So, I was quite surprised when my phone rang the next morning and it was this makeup artist! She said that she was going to write a book and did not want her tips to be published in a blog….almost as if it were a reward NOT to print her advice; she said that she was going to start a new website soon and was looking for some bloggers for her site. Her last words were a promise to call me the following week to discuss her plans……the call never came.

She helped Lavern end a "racoon eye" problem

I have decided that I really do not want to be responsible for destroying anyone’s book sales, so I will not print what I learned that day…though, I could. But, I am a little miffed at how it was handled and why she is doing these shows if she doesn’t want this information published by a blogger. There could have been an unidentified blogger there who would have gone ahead and used the information.

Just curious, bloggers: What Would You Do?


  1. Yup, I be ticked too! She could have a valid reason for not calling...but someone could have called you. Like you said, an ordinary schlump, like myself, could have just written about what she learned and not informed the make up artist. But you have to live with yourself and your conscience.....(PS you can eamil me and I won't tell). kidding

  2. I would have not written her tips but I would have put her name in the above post. Because if your going to take away from my vision as though my blog would hurt you, why not let people know what kind of person they could get advice from in the future. But that's just me, because the tips from MUA all tend to be similar in my opinion. If anything, your blog could have promoted her future endeavors but now, she'll never know.

  3. Here's a question I would have asked her. When is this book going to be written? She said she was going to write a book not she IS writing a book. What if the book is never written or is never published or reach reach the large scale audience she intends for it. I would be upset because you told her out of courtesy that you would be featuring her on your blog. You didn't have to say that and she never would have known. What if the Express News had carried a feature story of her and given out some of her tips? She wouldn't have been able to stop them from doing so. If she is going to these events she should know her information is being passed on to a second or third party. If she doesn't want the tips disseminated then she shouldn't do the shows.

    I would have blogged about it anyway. I still would.

  4. Pam~ I would be of the mind to feel flattered if you wrote about me...I mean it would be press, right? It's not like you are becoming a make-up artist--AND you are not getting any profit from her advice. If you were to profit somehow from her advice, then that would be a different story. I think she is being a little too possesive and maybe a little too careful.

  5. That sounds like a person who really does not understand social media. She could have had a fan promoting her and she wasted the opportunity and destroyed the relationship. I think it's still your prerogative to write about it if you want, but I'm sure the post you hoped to write has been spoiled. We all run into this from time to time, don't let it slow you down.

  6. I would not write it since she asked you not to, but seems it would only be to her advantage- I don't think she understands how useful the blog word-of-mouth is!

  7. I think you were ethical to not write her tips since she asked you not to. I am very cautious about presenting others without their knowledge or approval. However, I think what she did was kind of sleazy. She essentially wanted you to blog FOR her, on HER website, her terms, to promote HER -- rather than to do it as part of your own creative work as a blogger. I think it may be a blessing that she never called back. You're too good to be writing free advertising copy for somebody else.

  8. I agree with the commenter who said that the makeup artist sounds like a person who doesn't understand social media.

  9. I agree with Alicia-- this person does not understand social media. I also agree with Peggy, though; since she asked you not to share her tips, you should not. The audacity of her to ask you to write the content for her new blog (uncompensated, of course) is outrageous. You are a nicer woman than I by not sharing who this "future author" is.

  10. I would have felt free to publish it unless there was a warning in the first place that it wasn't open to any form of press. Anyone or everyone there could have had a blog, or shared via Twitter or Facebook, and not told her. She's not being realistic. But I think it's better that you didn't publish anything because the asshole doesn't deserve any free publicity, now or ever.

    (Do I love having my designs all over the Internet so that people can rip them off? No. But is there any other way to do business now? No.)

  11. I wouldn't write about her tips, but it seems off that she wouldn't want to be promoted through someones blog. It seems like free advertising to me!

  12. I don't think that there is anything wrong if she wants her ideas to appear first on her site. People learn as they do business and seems she is in the process of learning.

    I did a post on the Sartorialist after a lecture of his and I was not sure if I should publish the ideas he shared (I ended up sharing a couple)


  13. I would google her tips. See if someone else has already put them out there and that they are not uniquely hers. If they are, post them, and site the website where you found them.

    If she really has invented new and amazing makeup techniques, then I suppose not blogging about them would be the polite thing to do, for karmas sake.

    Chic on the Cheap

  14. I think there are some folks who take themselves far too seriously. Does she really think no one has ever done things the way she does them? There may be hundreds of make up artists out there that use similar techniques. And I guess she doesn't value good press.

  15. I think you demonstrated good will in not reporting what she said.

    The "giving away" of content is a big issue with blogs. My husband works for a company where the analysts have blogs attached to the corporate sites. Management wants them to blog because it is good for their profiles and brings traffic to the site, but they're cautioned not to give consulting services away in their blog posts. It takes a little finesse in writing your posts.

    Take this as a lesson for your own blogging career. If you think you'll write other products consider how to promote them without giving it all away. You'll be ahead of the makeup artist!

    Since I think it indicates how naive and un-strategic she is about social media if I were you I would not hook up with a web site she organizes.

  16. Pam, this is my initial thinking....she did this demonstration in a public setting. She gave you these tips in answer to questions in a public setting, in front of a large group. It would be different if you hired her or it was a one on one setting and she were sharing confidential trade secrets. You were gracious enough to promote her on your blog, but actually, in my opinion, that's independent of the tips and make up advice (again, that she gave in a PUBLIC setting). I would consider following her wishes and NOT using her name or promoting her on your blog. But as far as the tips go, as far as I'm concerned, that's already public knowledge. If you want to talk about make up tips for women over 50 and just credit it as tips that were given in a makeup session at this event, that would not hurt her or her book at all and I don't think you would be wrong. Again, these aren't trade secrets and she spoke these tips publicly. Seems to me that she wants to credit herself and promote herself when she publishes said book and doesn't want someone else's version of her ideas. That's no problem. She didn't want to be featured....don't feature....but she's naive if she thinks information given during a public event is not going to be passed on in some way. Just my take. Big Hugs girly! ~Serene

  17. i think i might have published it since she didn't tell you not too before she began her siminar. it seems like she had an after thought and decided she needed to all of a sudden begin her blog. where is it? it's not like it takes weeks to set up a blog. i am pretty sure i would have questioned her more if i got that phone call
    she seems like she is trying to cover tracks after the fact
    just my two cents

  18. She sounds very self absorbed and I would wash my hands of her. She would have BENEFITED from you talking about her on your blog. That is what it's all about isn't it? Helping each other ? She doesn't seem to get it in my opinion and she really missed a wonderful opportunity to be promoted on yur blog.
    For heaven's sake... they are beauty tips ... not national security secrets!
    Have a pretty day!

  19. I got so wrapped up with the last comment I forgot to say thank you for your comment this morning on my blog. I know what I am trying to say in my post... is it clear at all as to what I am trying to say???
    also "your" , sorry about the typo.

  20. I think today's business should be handled differently. Would not you be doing her a favor if you promote your ideas, book, whatever??? I'm sure you would have included an author's name and the title of the book and all the correct links.
    If I were promoting myself, I would think of unconventional ways of doing it (although, why spreading word through the blogosphere is so unconventional???).

  21. Hi Pam,

    I agree with most of what everyone else said here. I don't normally read all the comments that people leave but I did this time. Great points made by all.

    I was also thinking that if all of her tips are top secret, why did she allow people to take notes, ask questions, and take photos? What did she think people were going to be doing with this information? Was there a security guard that deprogrammed eveyone's brains while you exited the auditorium to wipe all the information out of your brains? I mean, Come on!

    I just think she's being an idiot. For lack of a better word.


  22. Honestly, my conscience wouldn't allow me to post anything after giving my word that I wouldn't. I would be miffed as well if she didn't call when she promised, but I still wouldn't be able to post. What's frustrating is that you're right, there could have been tons of other bloggers there that will now post her tips and she wouldn't know, because they didn't tell her in advance.

  23. i think she went about it the wrong way. if she politely asked you to CONSIDER not blogging about it because she was working on a book, i would oblige. but she can't force you not to write about a public event, and she shouldn't have promised a call back for future discussions. i think it would be fine to "share tips that you learned at a san antonio fashion event". you are not claiming them to be yours, nor are you revealing that they are hers.


  24. I would have done exactly what you did, but write her off for good. I am not interested in confusion.


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!