over50feeling40: Who Do You Dress For?
Fashion and Lifestyle Blog for women over 50 to help achieve strength, confidence, joy, inspiration, and, of course, head-turning personal style!

Dec 14, 2010

Who Do You Dress For?

Please,  have A seat...let's talk:

Who do we dress for? Not an easy question.

After I turned 50, I decided that I was too worried about what other people thought and I was going to begin to dress more for myself.

That was kind of liberating! I started to “get my act together” for me and not for anyone else. This set me free to really enjoy the world of fashion and clothing.

But, as in all things, there is a balance. If I know that my family (particularly, my husband), really hates something, then I probably will not wear it……at all.

This outfit is the most recent casualty. I was so excited to give a shorter skirt a try, so I put this together with the tights and boots. I was pretty proud of myself….until I modeled for my family.

“Is that a costume for something,” said my mother…who never chooses her words carefully.

I will not quote my husband. I do not want you to think badly of him. Needless to say, the skirt went back. Sometimes it just is not worth it…no matter what I think.

Thumbs Down from the panel
of judges!!
So, how do you handle it if your immediate family doesn’t like the look!!?

She looks great...her outfit is a keeper!


  1. I usually tell them to shut up!! LOL Not really...yes, really, I do. I don't care what they think. Except in the case of the floral tights. I maybe should have listened to them on that one.

  2. I dress for myself. My husband wouldn't notice if I wore a garbage bag...always been that way.

  3. LOL HARD on Joy's comment! It matters to me what my husband thinks. I don't necessarily dress for him, but I do want him to think I look pretty. On the other hand, when we got married, he still had clothes from the 80s (bad clothes, not cool vintage); so am I REALLY going to get fashion advice from him? He just knows what he likes, not necessarily what I like.

    Actually, I completely dress for myself....I wear what I wear because I like how it makes me feel. Having said that, if my aunt gives me a funny look about an outfit I have on, I'm completely self conscious about it after that. So, I've tried to get her voice out of my head. I guess the bottom line is that when it's people you love and you really care what they think, it's easy to let them influence you. I'm still working on that.

    Regarding your outfit, you look adorable!! I love this skirt length on you! Instead of tossing out the skirt; why not match your tights to your boots? I think that gives a longer line....maybe darker tights; like navy for that skirt. The skirt length is FABULOUS on you! You don't need to change that at all. ~Serene (BTW, this Serene's Comment: War and Peace version.....sorry it's so long!!)

    I've never dressed for anyone but myself--I only care a little of what people think about my clothes--but they do have to be appropriate for the setting (work especially!)
    I agree with Serene wholeheartedly! Try that skirt again--wear it with confidence, if you can and don't ask them what they think! You are rocking that look and you look 10 years younger! That skirt length on you is de-aging--is that a word? And maybe, as Serene suggests, a toned down pair of stockings might give you the confidence you need~
    PS My husband, in 25 years, has NEVER hated anything I wore.

  5. Oh Pam, I'm your vintage and I like the length. I agree with the folks above, try dark tights, and maybe a more monochrome top. I think most skirts or dresses in winter look good with dark (for me usually black) tights. If you will always see a raised eyebrow in your mind when you wear it though, back it should go.

  6. All of you, ladies, are so incredible and encouraging! I did return this skirt that day (my mother asked every five minutes if I had!), but because of you I will look for another one and attempt this look again! Thanks for the wonderful support and suggestions!

    Serene - you can write War & Peace any time you like!!

  7. What is the matter with the skirt length? If my husband reacted like that I would just keep wearing it until I heard no more peeps...

  8. I like this length on you just fine but when I get bad reviews from those closest to me it doesn't matter how I originally felt about an outfit: It collects dust at the back of the wardrobe.

    While I can't ignore honest opinions I do ignore comments with an agenda behind them. Those I pretend go in one ear and out the other although of course really they do affect me and I have to push myself to stick to what I like.

  9. I usually just dress for myself, unless I get a really negative comment from a friend, not husband. My mom is the queen of backhanded negative comments, so I don't even listen to her!i
    I think the skirt looks cute, but agree that maybe try with darker tights and maybe start with a more subdued shirt color to ease family into the look.
    May I ask what fabulous outfit husband was wearing... :)

  10. If my husband, who'll wear a shirt inside-out all day long, notices something I have on, and comments negatively, I go change clothes because it's probably really not good looking.


Thanks so much for joining in our conversation today! I appreciate your time and love hearing from you!